Pigs' Steal o' the Day

If there is a Belk near you and you have children, you simply must go check out their clearance racks. I was shocked to find a veritable plethora of boys' toddler clothes from winter marked 75% off. More than the price reduction, I was astounded to see actual racks of boys' clothes! In almost every store I've been to, there are approximately 32 racks of adorable girls' clothes one token rack of boys' clothes, usually mixed in with girl stuff! It's outrageous, I tell you, if you're actually making the effort to dress your little boy in a dapper manner.

I present to you....Piglet's Fall Wardrobe 2008:

2 sweaters
3 pairs of pants
4 polo shirts
2 jackets
1 London Fog four in one coat
2 pairs of pajamas

The retail value on this pile 'o clothes was $306. Pigs' price was $63.07. I'm as happy as a pig in mud after that purchase.

Oh Christmas Tree...

It's nice to come home from your Christmas vacation to find that your trees have finally turned to fall in your absence. I mean, it is New Years. Seems like time for autumn. Or something.

I took down all of my Christmas decorations last night - in record time: 50 minutes! We have decided after 8 years of fighting with the stupid fake pre-lit Christmas tree, that it was time to get rid of it. So, since I know you have all been waiting on the edge of your seats for Pigs' Next Cheapskate Tip 'o the Day.....here it is. I've educated you about the Grocery Game, I've enlightened you about Paperback Swap. Now....if you haven't found it in your hometown yet, let me recommend Freecycle. There's a group in most towns. What you do is join your local group and post things that you want to get rid of (for free) and people come and get them. It's kind of like very organized trashpicking. The goal is to keep things out of the landfill, which brings me back to my Christmas tree. My post went a little something like this:

OFFER: One 7 ft. pre-lit Christmas tree. Bottom 6 inches of lights do not work, courtesy one Very Bad Beagle. Tree is in three separate parts for easy storage and set up. We simply string one strand of regular Christmas lights along defective part of tree for a seamless look.

I posted that last night at 10pm and this morning I had four emails from people wanting to come get it. I put it on the front porch with a sign on it with the person's name I chose, and voila! The tree was gone from my porch by 9am. Then I drove over to someone's house and picked up a bag of 18 month-2T boys' clothes to rifle through. I found a load's worth of clothes to wash for play clothes and will pass the rest to a friend. Not too shabby, huh? Stay tuned for future Cheapskate Tips from Pigs.

Unpaid Advertisement

When it comes to books lately, I find that I'm more into entertainment and distraction than quality. And for this, I turn to my new favorite website, www.paperbackswap.com where you can mail off your old books that you're done with to earn credits to get other people's books of your choosing mailed to you. All for only the cost of postage ($2.13 per book). Thus far, it has saved me $99. It tracks your savings for you. Did I mention that it's free? Just chalk this up as another money saving tip from Pigs.

It Hurts to My Very Core

Well, it happened. The frugality got out of control, I'll admit. You knew it was going to happen. No, I didn't get imprisoned for coupon fraud or anything like that, but I did stoop a level. Let me take you with me....

I was driving along Park, kind of a busy thoroughfare 'round where I live. But, through six lanes of traffic, I saw it! Over there, to the right....in someone's alley. Right next to their trashcans, the sun shone upon the treasure I'd been looking for: gently used toys! I'm not talking trash, people. These were Big Expensive Toys.

Like this car,

this easel,

and this bike. Just sitting there! Next to the trashcans! My mind began to race as my heart picked up the pace. Were they really trash? Free trash? Perfectly good, new-looking toys just cast out on what must be bulk trash day? I drove several more blocks while the wheels in my mind turned and processed before making a determined U-turn and whipping my car back in the direction of the Treasure. We're talking $168 worth of toys here.

I steered carefully into their alley to check this situation out and make sure this was really trash. I wasn't trying to steal anything. After a quick survey of the situation, I decided the appropriate thing to do was to ask the owner. As Piglet was in the car, I had to drive around to the front of the house to ask, so I slowly pulled away from my find. Glancing in the rearview mirror, I saw a white van pull up in my spot and a door open. They were checking out my loot! Oh, NO she DI-ENT! I threw it in reverse and squealed back to the thieves.

"Hi!" I called cheerfully. "Do you think that's trash? I was just going to ask the owner myself." Smile. [Translation: Step off my goods, freak! I was here first!]

"Yo no hablo ingles. Blah blahdy blado." she said smiling. Yeah, sure you don't.

"I'm going around front to ask her!" I said with a glare and stepped back into my car. I whizzed around the corner and screeched to a halt in front of the house in question. Then I almost fell out of the car. The thief had dashed around front on foot and was already talking to the woman! This person who allegedly spoke no English! You have got to be kidding me. Knowing I had lost the game, I stepped on it and drove around the block, pulling up directly behind her car. I watched her load all three items into the back of her massive Tahoe with tears in my eyes. I don't think I can properly put into words how much this hurt me. The angst! The heartache! The physical pain of losing! ARGH.

If I had just had the nerve to load the toys up on the first pass. Stupid me, doing the right thing. I mean, they were next to the trash! What did I think they were? Blast. Foiled again.

24 cents

That is all.

Addendum for Mindy's doubting husband:

All: $3.99 (sale)
Razors: $5.89
2 Revlon nailpolishes $4.59 (bogo free)
2 Maybelline mascaras: $ 4.79 (bogo free)
2 Crest Pro-health: $6.58
2 Energizer batteries: $11.38

Minus $27 in coupons.

Then realized they didn't give me my "extra bucks" back for the toothpaste I had bought, I went back in, they apologized and credited my card $6.98 and let me have them free, even though one of my coupons had been for buy one get one free. Mwah ah ah! This brought my total paid to $4.64.

Minus $4 "extra bucks" back to use next time from razor purchase.

Equals? 24 cents.

Prepare to Be Riveted

What have I been doing today? Well! Wouldn't you like to know? I happen to have had one of the most riveting mornings you can imagine, thankyouverymuch. First? It rained all night long. It thundered and lightninged. (Yes, verb.) Our rain gauge overflowed, so I'm not even sure how much it rained, but I do know two things:

1a. I didn't get much sleep because lightning freaks me out when it pops right outside my window arch and blinds me in the night.

1b. I also didn't get much sleep for the second night in a row, thanks to Piglet's cold which has infiltrated my immune system and plagued me with Dry Throat, a condition which requires me to sleep with a shirt on my face. More details later.

2. The "small retention pond" that the developers built all summer behind my yard is suddenly a massive lake. Lake Pigs, we'll call it. It reached, then overflowed its banks, waterfalling into the awaiting culvert, then flooding the wee creek which carries the water away. Summary: it was a whole mess of water. (Or "awah!" as Piglet is now calling it. Would make much more sense if I was teaching him Spanish, but this is not the case. End digression.)

I present to you.....Lake Pigs:

As though that wasn't enough, the party continued! After being pursued by Piglet all morning, Gus notices that the deluge of rain has ceased and bolts for the backdoor, escaping his pint-sized shadow. Piglet was jealous and gazed wistfully through the glass.

"It's not fair! Gus gets to go outside! Why am I stuck in here?" So, I took my cue, scooped him up, and made my way to CVS where they had to pay me 46 cents so that I could buy these items:

Cackle. I know you're jealous of my day 'o fun; I can feel your envy permeating my screen. I doubt you want this delightful little disease I've contracted, though. If anyone happens to have any home remedies for Wicked Dry Throat, I'd appreciate it. Symptoms include, but are not limited to, a prickly, burning dryness behind my nose. In my nasal passages, if you will. And dry eyes. And Piglet's using the humidifier, so don't say that. Oh, and the Wicked Dry Throat becomes further agitated when I lie down at night and the Nasty Mucus Lodging begins. Not a drip, no, no! A Lodging. Of a well-placed mass of.....well, you know. Boogers or something. And I cannot hock a loogey, so don't suggest that either. It would make me barf and I had a really good dinner that I cannot bear to see go to waste. So, get back to me on that, stat.

The Price is Right

(Or, as I always thought it was called, "The Prize is Right.") I would like to state for the record that my new hobby is getting things for free. Perhaps it's my lack of employment driving this new urge, perhaps is my inner cheapskate taking over. I don't know, but it is DARNED fun! I know I've described my cash register moment 'o glory before, but I've never provided actual examples of my loot. My booty. My take.

Today was Target day. I checked the weekly ad. I scanned my coupons. I went in for the kill. Zipping up and down the aisles, I scooped item after item into my cart. Here was the final take:

How much would you estimate the following?

2 family sized bottles Suave shampoo

1 jar Mott's applejuice

1 box Pampers Cruisers (108 count)

2 packages Pampers wipes (120 count)

1 Halloween greeting card

3 Johnson & Johnson soaps buddies bars

2 - 8 packs of Reece's Cups (full size)

1 Target brand Benadryl (100 count)

1 - 2 oz St. Ives lotion

1 travel size Dove beauty bar

1 (2 pack) Elmer's Super Glue

A strange combination, I realize, but a good take, nonetheless. I ask you, faithful readers, what would be a fair price for these goods? I realize that none of you are probably as into this as I am, but I have such smug satisfaction that I simply must share my mad skillz with you. Your much awaited answer will be revealed soon.

-Scrooge Pig

Mental

My frugality is out of control. It has crossed a line. I'm not sure what exactly to call the line I've crossed, but I have to tell you that I have begun to dream about coupons. Just once or twice, but it's on my mind the way my job used to be. I'm not only robbing Kroger blind, it's extended to Walgreen's. And Target. And perhaps CVS. There's just so much free stuff out there and it's so satisfying to get it! I must have it! I'm afraid that I might need a psychological consultation. Perhaps a doctor's visit is in order.

Dr: What seems to be the problem, Pigs?

Me: I can't stop looking for free things.

Dr: Are you hurting anyone with this quest?

Me: Just my wrist. Carpal tunnel coupon cutting, you know.

Dr: I think you'll be just fine, Pigs.

Oh, whew! Looks like it's going to be okay after all. Say, did I tell you about the $110 I made in the last month just switching prescriptions from store to store? Mwah ah ah ah!!!

It's so worth it.

I have a new obsession. If you read this blog, you already know I'm slightly, um.....frugal. Cheap. Really, I'm a total tightwad. I've always clipped coupons and stalked sales and revered outlet shopping, but now? I've crossed into a whole new realm of cheap. The magical website that is the Grocery Game has become the highlight of my week.

This website pairs up sales at your local grocery store with coupons from the last month or two and gives you the advantage of rock bottom prices. On Monday? I saved 50% on my bill. I got $114 of groceries for $57. FOR REAL! It's the most amazing thing ever. If you decide to do it? Please email me at whenpigssing at yahoo dot com and ask me for the email address I used so you can put me as your referrer. You won't be sorry, readers! Take it from me, the Queen of Cheap.

I call my mom each week to tell her how much I saved and am appalled at her lack of interest. How can saving $57 not interest you?? I can't fathom the apathy. She says it sounds like too much trouble. Too much trouble? It's the best 30 minutes of my Sunday! I hunker down, crouched over my desk like a detective on a mission. I scan my list and snatch a coupon with a satisfied cackle of pride. I jot down a meal idea to go with the deal. It's like me against the system. The grocery store system....mwah ah ah! I got yer number, Kroger!

Entering Kroger on Monday mornings, I pretend I'm a crafty bandit robbing the grocery store blind. Clutched in my hand is my wad of coupons and my list of goods. I'm armed, I'm ready. I dart up and down the aisles, laughing snidely at the sale signs because I'm already in the know. Buy one, get one free, 10 for $10, 50% off with card...mine, all mine! I grab, I toss, I weave, and at last, the pinnacle moment.....[cue heavenly music] I check out. My heart begins to pound softly in anticipation of what's about to transpire.

I know the cashier must be astounded at the amount of double beeps emanating from the register, indicating my price reductions. I know he's thinking, "Wow, now this is a chick who knows how to save some green!" He's impressed, I can see it in his eyes. I demurely keep my stash of coupons tucked behind the counter, until he gives me my low, low, low total and then....Wha-BAM! I fan out my hoard of coupon goodness and thrust it into his palm. How low can she go?? I know he's thinking. He feverishly scans them one after another until the big moment. The climax. "Ma'am, you've saved 50% today using your Kroger Plus card." I tingle down to the tips of my toes and break into a relieved sweat. It was worth it.