$3.94. This one's for you, Roth.

I know some people think I have a little problem, but I can't tell you how super-fun it is to get all this stuff for $3.94:



Well, not the fake decorative apples, but the rest. I actually had the decency to be mildly embarrassed when they had to send me over to the manager to let him check me out because the cashier didn't know if it was okay for me to pay that little. She seemed to think I was being shady, but I swear I wasn't.

I'm posting this for Jen's husband Roth who poo-pooed on my post about saving a whole bunch of money last week, so I thought I'd give him specific details. This purchase was originally $72.32 before sales and coupons. I will also say that some of this stuff is yucky processed food that normal healthy people don't eat, but my husband eats like a ten year old boy, so it works. Plus, if something is free, I'm going to get it whether I use it or not and at least donate it to charity. This is how I wound up with a cabinet full of cat food and treats.

So, this purchase included the following:

2 boxes of Special K multigrain crackers (who knew Special K made crackers?)

2 cans of Pam cooking spray

2 (big) bottles of Suave shampoo

3 boxes of Betty Crocker Brownie Supreme Mixes

1 bottle Lyson All Purpose Cleaner

2 boxes Kraft Deluxe Mac and Cheese

1 box Near East Couscous

2 boxes of Pop Tarts

2 (10 packs) Revlon Emory Boards

1 Cover Girl Bronzer (meoooooooow!)

1 Cover Girl Eyeshadow (Eddie, I've got about 4 of these for you.)

1 I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Olive Oil spread

2 (big) boxes of Life Cereal for Piglet



How about them apples? Well, not the apples, I told you they weren't included. But the rest of the stuff was pretty fun to pay only $3.94 for. The manager congratulated me. It was a good day.

Say it with me: Faaaaah-REEE!

I'm starting to think that perhaps my freebie habit is getting a little out of control. It started with the couponing and the Grocery Game (though it is really my duty to mention here that I went to the Publix this afternoon and with my crafty couponing brought home $61 of stuff that I paid $7.53 for. Including tax.) Then I somehow drifted into the world of getting free stuff sent to my house all the time which is super fun when you're stuck in the house, well...all the time.

But the magazines? They are completely out of control. I am currently paying for one magazine: Us Weekly, clearly a necessity. But the rest? I'm going to try to list them all.

Parents

Cosmopolitan

Tennis

Forbes

Garden and Gun (tee hee hee)

Martha Stewart Living

Smithsonian

Woman's Day

Self

Shape

Prevention

Babytalk

More

Maxim

Wondertime

Family Circle

TV Guide

CBS Watch

Bazaar

I mean, is it out of control? I really think it might be. I think I probably even missed a few. These are all 1-2 year subscriptions that were free. And Lord knows, I can't turn down free stuff. Do I need therapy? I may. But I like free stuff. I mean, y'all all wanted my Ferreros the other day. I mean, did I mention the $7.53? The cashier looked at me like I was some kind of thieving freakshow. I smiled and pushed my cart 'o goods to the car. Suckers!

Gratuitous Cuteness

Cavemen

It's funny how today has felt like I live in a cave family of sorts. It's been kind of the theme of today. It all began with the morning screamfest. Pigpen has just learned how to scream. Shriek, really. An ear-splitting noise that pleases him above all else. He's just so excited that this rapturous sound erupts from his little mouth that he has to do it over and over until he is hoarse. This might be almost cute if I hadn't JUST cured Piglet from screaming in the house. Multiple time outs and excessive praise for outdoor screaming took about two weeks to get that little habit out of his system. How he believes that 7 month old Pigpen should go to time out each time he screams. What's a cavemom to do?

At last Pigpen's voice got tired of the yelling and he commenced his second favorite activity: watching Piglet. Piglet decided today was the day to teach Pigpen about the potty and dragged his potty into the family room to demonstrate. At this point he announced, "Piglet needs newspaper!" Clearly, he must have learned this from watching my caveman husband:



The day progressed and during naptime, two cavepeople (truly, we're talking Deliverance here) rolled up to install my new microwave and oven, replaced by the handy dandy home warranty of the former owners of our house. Y'all... these people. There had to be some inbreeding somewhere. We're talking backwoods Georgia. They did a fine job at appliance installation, but carrying on a conversation was a challenge. I need to work on my grunts and points before they work for us again.

Nothing says love like your own cavehusband arriving home from the hunt. He walks in, he ogles your shirt, and he says, "Whoa! Your left boob is huge!" Pause. Let's think about this. I'm sure that on some caveplanet he meant this as a compliment or a suggestive leer or something positive. But how do you take that? Yes, my left boob is a full size larger than the right (thanks, Pigpen for your picky eating habits). But, come on. You don't compliment one. They're kind of a set. And if one looks good, that means the other does not. Of course, it's hard to see if for the left one, but whatever. Caveman like boob. Just the one. Point and grunt! Errrr!

Ah, a day of cavepeople. I have high hopes that tomorrow might be more civilized. One can dream.

Gasp! Wheeze! Where's your pants??

70 degree days in February are pretty awesome. Mondays are pretty awesome. (Preschool day) Fat free chocolate ice cream with brownie chunks is pretty awesome as well. Do you have any sense where I am going? Because I do not. I think I'll start over.

I have now commenced bribing Piglet to nap in his bed. Since his molars started trying to break his face, he has stopped napping well. If he naps, it is in his "cave", the weird little room off of his room with a baby gate on the door and a sleeping bag inside. Starting today, he gets a sticker if he naps in his bed. If he gets three stickers, he gets a prize. He was super-excited about stickers and presents and repeated the whole deal back to me. Did he nap in his bed? Yeah, no. Of course not. So, we'll try again tomorrow.

After his cave nap, we decided to go to the park. I was all ready to drive down there and he announced that he was going to ride his tricycle. This would mean that I would have to carry Pigpen in the Bjorn to be at the ready for Piglet leaping off of his bike and running into the street. I can't walk up the hills in my neighborhood with the Bjorn because when going up a hill, my thighs push his feet and he bounces up to my chin. Very uncomfortable for all.

I compromised with Piglet on the double stroller. How did this happen? How did I get engaged in a debate, discussion and compromise with a two year old? I debated this as I pushed my 40 pound double stroller filled with my 30 pound toddler and my 15 pound baby up the mountain to the park. My lungs burned. My thighs were on fire. Piglet turned around to see what the wheezing sound was. It was bad. Very bad. He wanted to go faster, it seemed.

After a fun time at the park, I had to repeat the performance to get back home. When I say mountains, I'm really not exaggerating. This neighborhood has some serious crazy steep hills. My Texas born car gasps and struggles to get out of our street. I had visions of a wild runaway stroller filled with babies if my sweaty hands released the death trap onto the mountain.

I paused to talk to anyone who would talk to me just to catch my breath. You meet a lot of people that way. Including my neighbor who doesn't wear pants. I've met him a couple of times now and both times, he was wearing his collared work shirt.....and his boxers. His unkies. Right there in the street! He was getting the mail. It is rumored that he also has a urinal in his basement, so perhaps he's just a man's man. A guy's guy. A slob? I don't know. Put on your pants!!

This day probably sounds tremendously boring to those reading, but when there's not much else going on in my world, the neighborhood entertainment must suffice. I'll try to perk things up tomorrow. Perhaps I'll engage you with tales of my menu planning and coupon clipping. Hold on to your hats!

Twue Wove...

Hey look! It's February! I was just sitting around today enjoying the 70 degree weather and thought, "Wow! It's almost February!" This brilliant thought illustrates my lack of a sense of time. It's just day after day of "who will sleep today?" and "which tooth will poke through next?" and "Ooh! Pigpen pooped 4 times today!".

You can imagine my surprise when I realized that I have to write Valentine's cards for the kids in Piglet's class. Really? I have to do that? (And how did it get to be February?) I always thought Valentine's Day was kind of dumb, but now I really think it's kind of dumb now that I have to do homework of sorts. The last time I thought Valentine's Day was nifty was in elementary school when we got to make a mailbox to collect our precious Valentine's cards in at the school party. My best one was the Clorox bottle that I made into a pig. Or maybe my sister did that. I don't know, my memory is terrible. But it was a pretty neat little mailbox....I have digressed considerably.

I wonder if I should pick the better looking Valentines for the girls that I know have a crush on him? At a birthday party recently, a little girl who fancies herself Piglet's girlfriend sat beside him to have a picture taken. Another little girl saw a space between them and sat down. Girl #1 was going to have none of that - ain't nobody gonna come between her and her man! - and she gave her a firm shove and sent her toppling to the floor, baffled as to what had happened. Piglet had not a clue what happened, as he was watching a balloon.

Well, that was a series of truly deep thoughts. I guess I'm off to sign Valentines for Piglet. Or go to bed. Yeah, I'm going to go to bed.