Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Cavemen

It's funny how today has felt like I live in a cave family of sorts. It's been kind of the theme of today. It all began with the morning screamfest. Pigpen has just learned how to scream. Shriek, really. An ear-splitting noise that pleases him above all else. He's just so excited that this rapturous sound erupts from his little mouth that he has to do it over and over until he is hoarse. This might be almost cute if I hadn't JUST cured Piglet from screaming in the house. Multiple time outs and excessive praise for outdoor screaming took about two weeks to get that little habit out of his system. How he believes that 7 month old Pigpen should go to time out each time he screams. What's a cavemom to do?

At last Pigpen's voice got tired of the yelling and he commenced his second favorite activity: watching Piglet. Piglet decided today was the day to teach Pigpen about the potty and dragged his potty into the family room to demonstrate. At this point he announced, "Piglet needs newspaper!" Clearly, he must have learned this from watching my caveman husband:

Ti-der needs newspaper on potty.

The day progressed and during naptime, two cavepeople (truly, we're talking Deliverance here) rolled up to install my new microwave and oven, replaced by the handy dandy home warranty of the former owners of our house. Y'all... these people. There had to be some inbreeding somewhere. We're talking backwoods Georgia. They did a fine job at appliance installation, but carrying on a conversation was a challenge. I need to work on my grunts and points before they work for us again.

Nothing says love like your own cavehusband arriving home from the hunt. He walks in, he ogles your shirt, and he says, "Whoa! Your left boob is huge!" Pause. Let's think about this. I'm sure that on some caveplanet he meant this as a compliment or a suggestive leer or something positive. But how do you take that? Yes, my left boob is a full size larger than the right (thanks, Pigpen for your picky eating habits). But, come on. You don't compliment one. They're kind of a set. And if one looks good, that means the other does not. Of course, it's hard to see if for the left one, but whatever. Caveman like boob. Just the one. Point and grunt! Errrr!

Ah, a day of cavepeople. I have high hopes that tomorrow might be more civilized. One can dream.

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