The Worst Teacher Gift of All? A Vote Off!

But before we get to the main event, I have to, have to, have to show you what Girlfiend from I Like Purging Things sent me!!! First of all, there are some really nice people out there who send gifts to people (me) they don't know! Last year, Jen sent me the Superphat Beagle Owner's Kit and now this:

HA! Isn't that great??? I am so wearing it to school on Friday. I love fun shirts that say stuff. I recently copied Cousineddie and bought one that says "Reading is sexy." (don't tell her) I love how current fashion trends allow me to truly express my nerdiness more succinctly.

Now, onto today's contest. I like to call it "Pick Pig's Putridest Present" or QuadP for short. So here in QuadP, I'd like to offer up a blogging first. An online debate as to which of these gen-yew-ine student gifts is truly the worst. I'd like for you to first consider the categories:

1. Thoughtfulness: What was the student (or parent) really intending for me when they purchased this gift? How much time was spent on the purchase?

2. What does the gift say? Is it saying "I love my teacher and want her to be _____?" or is it saying "What do we have in the closet for Mrs. Pigs?"

3. Everyday practicality: Likelihood that Pigs will be able to use this item in her day to day life. What exactly is its usability?

4. General appearance: Imagine it being opened in class. Think curb appeal. Does it have it?

Bearing these four categories in mind, let's begin the unveiling of this year's Top Three. [Note: some photos taken directly from their future eBay picture.] Oh, and if you're one of the 149 people just reading along and not commenting? Today is your day! Speak your mind! Share your stuff! And let me hear from you once in a while. I need big participation here and this is worth the effort:

Item Number One: The Frock, Part Two

I'm not sure what the deal is with frocks and me, but I seem to attract them like flies to honey. Last time I checked, ponchos went out of style about last January around here, but someone clearly didn't get the memo. Be sure to note the afghan-like fringe. Had I not been so frantic when I left for my trip, I would have certainly regifted this to the Aunt along with her copy of the Frock Calendar 2006. [a big hit, by the way]

Item Number Two: Puffy Head, the Singing....Rat?

Don't think that looking cool is all this little guy does, because he also plays that little keyboard with his light up sticks while singing Carol of the Bells. Yep, he surely does. Don't you look at this little guy and immediately think, [gasp!] "My teacher would love this!" Cause I surely did.

Item Number Three: Attachable Flip Flop Wine Coasters

Ah, yes....flip flop wine coasters for the "foot" of your glass! No worries about getting your wine glass inadvertantly interchanged with a fellow reveler's! No sirree, Bob! Yours has a bejeweled flip flop flanking its bottom! And don't get any big ideas, because the patent is pending on these babies. [Note on packaging: Not real shoes, for decorative use only.]

There are our three contestants! I now place it in your hands, voters, to determine which gift will receive the QuadP Medal of honor this year.

[hush falls over the audience]

Please consider the aforementioned categories carefully: Thoughtfulness, What Does This Gift Say?, Everyday Practicality, and General Appearance. You might also consider a gander at what my reaction was before my entire class as I opened each present before the little pumpkin quivering with excitement at bestowing such a treasure upon me. There were hugs and squeals all around, I promise. I always put on a good show. I can't wait to hear of your responses.