Smell My Feet

Ah, Halloween. (Pigs wistfully contemplates the holiday for a moment. Images of Wee Pig dressed as a present, Wee Pig dressed as a Darryl from Larry, Darryl and Darryl, and Wee Pig dressed as a witch for many, many years in a row flash through her mind. She remembers trick or treating with CousinEddie and wiping out flat on her face in someone's front yard, candy strewn all about the lawn...Smack! Pigs is slapped back to reality by beagle wails.)

AROOOOOOOOOO! Since the in-laws have departed, their room is now empty. After purging the trash can of all of its worldly possessions, Gus has just discovered Gunther on the front porch. He's been there since the first week of October, but no one ever said that Gus was the brightest bulb in the pack. Halloween plagues Gus to begin with, but the presence of a man-like being on the front porch is about to tear him up.

Halloween is generally not one of the best days in a fourth grade classroom, but today? Today the weather gods smiled upon me. It rained and poured and thundered and lightninged all day long. It was beautiful! Each time the thunder would crack, twenty panic-stricken faces would gasp up at me. Can "They" cancel Halloween? they would ask. I would smile mournfully and shrug. That's when I talked to them about karma. I told them that perhaps in order to balance out the possibility of Halloween getting canceled maybe they should be very very quiet (we're hunting wabbits!) and do their very best work and maybe....maybe! they could turn the course of fate. Clearly the little pumpkins didn't see the weather forecast to know that the rain was going to stop by five, but that all played to my advantage. Snicker.

Other than that, today was completely uneventful. Unless you count the highlights - student gifting. Student gifting is perhaps the most amusing part of the job. Kids come in all excited about the present they are about to bestow upon you. You must summon from deep within you the enthusiasm and genuine glee to emote in return. You might remember my story about receiving stolen goods when I taught in the ghetto, but it's these little numbers that really make you want to go into teaching:

I will call her Bella. I mean, how can you say no to that? It's clearly an item for the mantel. I will leave you with my final gift. While this one may appear trashy, remember that one man's trash is another man's treasure. Also remember that some of us have tacky pen collections that love to grow. I give you my newest addition:

Perhaps at a future date, I'll share with you the rest of my vast and varied collection. TTFN!

-Pigs