Saturday, October 01, 2011

Ca$h Money

Okay, okay, okay. Sorry I've been MIA on the blog, but WOW. September sort of exploded. September has been a wild few weeks of baseball and school starting and coupon menus. Colds and allergies and catching up on everything I couldn't do over the summer. Appointments, appointments, appointments. Did I mention that Gus ate an entire box of Vanilla Wafers? Well, that was just yesterday, but still. Oh, and then came the neighborhood yard sale.

Yard sales are sneaky things. When the idea comes up, it seems like a really great and fairly simple concept. Then you get neck deep into pricing and sorting and dealing with the crazies and you remember why last time you said you would NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

People who yard sale (as a verb) are a unique breed. There is a vulturous quality to these folks that is just not present in regular people. Large signs at the neighborhood entrances state boldly in big black letters that the sale begins at 8am. This apparently means that they can start trolling the streets at 7:15am jacking up traffic and leering into garages.

I learned a few new things at this yard sale:

1. If a strange man reaches for your calculater and starts to do number tricks, look away. Better yet, find something busy to do. Something, anything. And do something while you wait.

2. Yes, that really was a Members Only jacket. And the Reeboks were originals from the 80s as well.

3. If, perchance, a woman saunters up your driveway wearing a mini skirt and high heeled scrunchy boots, you're probably going to have to see her plumber's crack too. Trust me on this one.

4. An exceptional number of yard salers utilize Blue Tooth technology. Not in a "checking in with a dealer to see how valuable your stuff is" kind of way. More in a "this is my accessory and this is how I work it" way. Related: Gospel ring tones are more common that one might think.

5. If you are to pack up all of your remaining items for charity, tie the clothes into bags and neatly arrange this donation near your house, this does not mean you have actually closed your sale. What this means, in fact, is that if you are to drive across the neighborhood to deliver a piece of furniture to someone, you will return to your home five minutes later to find your driveway swarming with people digging through your donation pile. Checking out what's in your garage. Eating your Rice Krispies and wearing your bathrobe. There is something very wrong with people.

6. People are bananas. You can be offering to sell a $40 unused brand new in the package blender for $2.00 and they will offer you a quarter. And argue about it. And make you question your reasoning in pricing something so outrageously high.

Soooo....that was an unusual two days. The whole concept of spreading your old, ugly, often embarrassing house rejects about your driveway for public viewing seems like a bizarre thing to do in the first place. And yet - all up and down the street, there we were. Did we really think somebody would want those Happy Easter candles with the Easter one missing? The green pillows with strings hanging out? My rusty polka-dotted lounge chair? The bottles of Dulcolax? OH, BUT WAIT - THOSE SOLD. My box of hair color for men did not.

Such a strange concept, the yard sale. If you hear of me thinking about doing it next year, please refer me to this post.

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