Monday, March 14, 2011

You always, always wait. Always.

It seems that it's time to re-confirm my membership to the Selfish Food Hoarders Anonymous roster. I've written about this before, but apparently I still suffer from the condition.

I was out to dinner with a group of friends on Thursday night, when I was struck with another aspect of my condition. Though the food sharing situation was fully under control, the wait service was apparently not. When you combine the food hoarding instincts with my slight frugality insane cheapness, it becomes a deadly and somewhat debilitating combination.

The skinny: I ordered a $14 plate of pasta, thinking "this pasta better be make-me-drool-good and dream-about-it-later-memorable". It arrived. It was fine. I ate about half the plate before excusing myself to the restroom. Do you know what's coming? Do you?

The waiter took my plate. Not my empty, ready-for-the-dishwater plate, no no. He took my seven dollars worth of perfectly average pasta and threw it away. I thought my heart was going to fail me on the spot. I don't blame my friends for this, this transgression is a serious wait staff issue. You do not remove someone's plate without their permission. If the person is not there, you WAIT. It's your JOB. You're a WAITER. That's what you DO. You WAIT.

Deep breaths. Cleansing thoughts. I can taste the pasta. Just as I could the next day when I had no leftovers to which to turn. I tried to soothe myself with the memory of the restaurant's 84% sanitation grade.

I am posting this, and particularly the historical link, for anyone who may find themselves in a food sharing situation with me. After sharing this story with a friend this morning, she is now afraid to dine with me, but - I think - glad that she has gained awareness of my condition.

7 comments:

girlfiend said...

Did you get them to comp your meal?

Anonymous said...

Did you give the waiter hell for it?!  Or at least not leave a tip?  That's just not right.  What's almost just as bad is when they start to take your plate from you WHILE YOU'RE STILL EATING FROM IT.

Allison said...

Wow.  As an ex-Outback & Sagebrush waiter, I have to say, that's just stupid. I would NEVER take a plate without permission.  Especially if there's still half the dinner! Man.  I don't think I would have been able to control myself, I would have had to ask for half off my meal! 

Aims said...

I totally would have asked for at least a half meal comp. Shesh!

mommybelle said...

That's funny!  Perhaps we should do lunch sometimes. :)  If that had been me, I would have embarrased my friends by asking the waiter to replace my meal so I had my leftovers for tomorrow.  I had a waiter try to take my plate with just a few bites left when I was pregnant.  I apparently was quite rude as I got looks from everyone at the table.  I think it was a business lunch too, but seriously, you NEVER take a plate without asking first!  I'm the same way when my husband eats the last of something I like.  I am not happy with him either, so he typically stays away from my food.

Shawn with a W said...

ok, to be clear, the waiter asked if he could take my plate and a few others at the table and just kept right on clearing.  Oh, and once again - I'M SORRY!!!!  I'm not sure I could have survived the onslaught had it been better than meerly average pasta.

Bethie said...

I'm late, but this is HORRIFYING. I would be incensed. Like mommybelle, I would totally complain and ask for a to-go portion.