Grease it like a pig.

Well, thanky folks! I had no idea you were all loitering around out there in cyberspace. Maybe I'll jump back in with renewed vigor! Except I don't have a lot of vigor left at the end of the day. Maybe just some vim for you.

Well, some updates because I'm sure that you are all on the edge of your seats waiting to hear what happened with Piglet's napping situation. Here's the whole rundown shortened: (we will review) He got a cough about two weeks ago and coughed all night, not sleeping much. Coughed during nap, was miserable. Missed his first two days of preschool last week for the whole school year, went to dr. She gave him cough syrup/decongestant and took a nasal swab....yummy.

Piglet is that kid that they write about in the small print on medicine that says "May cause excitability in young children even though it will make you, the adult, pass out on your face." He's that kid. So.....guess what all the meds they tried did. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE! He bounced around wild for a week and then became completely belligerant. The swab came back with some kind of nasty bacterial funk and they put him on Omnicef. The small print on that bottle says "May cause flesh-eating diarrhea to develop in small children."

With all these warnings, I think he became totally overmedicated and kind of insane and sleep became more of an interesting idea than a reality to him. Yesterday, I believe I mentioned that he didn't take a nap and that he learned to scale the baby gate that guard The Cave which is his time out room. I need to take a picture of that. Maybe it's time for a picture post again. Somebody help me remember that. How did he scale a gate that is as tall as his nose, you ask? Well, he grabs onto the vertical bars with his monkey-like toes and shimmies up to the top where he free falls to the floor with an elephant-like thud. This really ticked me off.

Then? Okay, so he had no nap, which wrecks him to begin with, but then on top of a week of this, he was a complete disaster. Complete. So it was after 9 before he got to sleep what with all the nudity and such. (see yesterday's post) Then? He woke up screaming at the top of his lungs at midnight. It went a little something like this:

P: MOMMMMMMMYYYYYYY!!!!!
Me: (stagger upstairs under Benadryl stupor) Whaaaaat?
P: Piglet needs Froggy.
Me: He's right there on your nightstand.
P: Mommy get it.
Me: (hand it to him)
P: NOO! Piglet do it!!!!
Me: Fine.
P: No, Mommy do it.
Me: Leaving now. Go to sleep.
P: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Mommy come baaaaaack! Need pillows!
Me: (give him pillows)
P: No! Don't want pillows! (throws them out)

Et cetera. For about two hours. Then? He woke up at 5:30am. As in, for the day. I was about to throw him out the window. Instead, I sent him to school, sleep deprivation and all. He's been really good all year, it's about time I get my money's worth. Of course, he was angelic at school.

While he was there, I strategized. Eyeballing that baby gate, I began to brainstorm. My first thought was barbed wire over the top, but I bet CPS would frown upon that. I toyed with several strategies before settling on my plan. I grabbed a tube of Aquaphor and greased the heck out of those vertical bars. HA. Let him climb up it now.

When he got home from school, he was clearly zonked. I wanted him fully relaxed, so I allowed an episode of Bob the Builder and a gentle snack of graham crackers, milk, and a Motrin toddy. He got one time out in the Cave, which I evilly witnessed via the video monitor and after sliding back down those bars once, he was done. He heaved a sigh, gave up the fight, and nestled down in his bed where he slept for THREE AND A HALF HOURS. Did you read that? This child never naps more than an hour and a half. At a quarter to six, I went upstairs to wake him up. At 7:45 he actually asked to go back to bed again. I'm sure it will be short lived, but I've never been so happy in my life. He sleeps as I type. Bliss.

So, that's about all I've got today. I also spent a ton of QT with Pigpen, but he will have to be the topic of another day. It's time for me to nestle down in my own bed and prepare for tomorrow.

Coming tomorrow: The Upstairs Air-Conditioning Gets Fixed! Woo hoo!