Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Dense, at best.

It's 9:15pm and I'm completely distracted by the fact that my nap-less Piglet is finally asleep for the night, but kind of naked. He did the courtesy of leaving his diaper on, but other than that is fast asleep atop a pile of books and his covers. He just looks cold to me. To dress or not to dress? I don't want him to wake up in the morning and notice his diaper and think, "Hey....I think I'll take that bad boy off!" Decisions and conundrums.

The only other event of consequence today was my discussion with perhaps the dumbest customer service representative on earth. I called regarding my All You subscription, the only magazine I will pay for because I got it for 80 cents an issue and it's filled with hundreds of coupons which support my habit. I ordered it in March and haven't received an issue yet, but when I checked on it online it said that my subscription will end on April 1, 2011.

In my mind, this means that it should have started April 1st for a two year subscription, no? And so I called. I explained the situation to the dense woman who was probably on the other side of the world. She had the following to say:

DW: You will get your first issue on June 26.

Me: Uh, how is that a two year subscription?

DW: Because it's published every other month.

Me: No it's not. I see here there's an April and a May. How is that every other month?

DW: Please hold. [long pause] I see here that this magazine is published monthly.

Me: Uh, duh. So how is June to April two years?

DW: Ma'am you will get 24 issues.


DW: Please hold, I will check with my supervisor [pause] Okay, my supervisor has said that I can extend your subscription by a month since you don't believe it will be 24 issues.

Me: It won't! How is that mathematically possible?!

DW: Ma'am, the magazine goes by covers, not by dates.

Me: Huh? What? Excuse me? That still makes no sense.

DW: Can I interest you in a subscription to People magazine for only $29?

Me: Are you kidding me? I haven't even gotten the one I paid for!

DW: Thank you for calling us. Goodbye.

Me: ARGH!!!

On a good note, my Dish Network bill this month was only $2.01, so I did something right. Off to watch The Biggest Loser now that I've downed 3 slices of pizza.

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