Thursday, August 02, 2007

The Mystery of the Missing Eddie

I've been known to overreact on occasion. But when you're IMing with your best friend who is about 1800 miles away and she types this:

Eddie: (7/31/2007 8:30:21 PM): holy crap
Eddie: (7/31/2007 8:30:29 PM): i don't ever answer the door if i'm not expecting someone
Eddie: (7/31/2007 8:30:36 PM): it's scary back here, right?
Pigs: (7/31/2007 8:30:38 PM): k
Eddie: (7/31/2007 8:30:43 PM): i just got home a little while ago from the movies
Eddie: (7/31/2007 8:30:47 PM): and i'm watching bb
Eddie: (7/31/2007 8:30:52 PM): and someone started knocking on my door
Pigs: (7/31/2007 8:30:55 PM): and the boogey man came???
Eddie: (7/31/2007 8:30:58 PM): and chloe was all freaked out so i got scared
Pigs: (7/31/2007 8:31:01 PM): who was it?
Pigs: (7/31/2007 8:31:11 PM): do you have a peephole?
Eddie: (7/31/2007 8:31:11 PM): so i ran into my bedroom and stood in there holding a big ceramic vase
Eddie: (7/31/2007 8:31:17 PM): no peephole
Pigs: (7/31/2007 8:31:33 PM): i hope not your nice one from texas

....and then disappears from IM completely, you tend to panic a little bit. All I wanted to do was lie down and watch me a little Big Brother, but no..... I had to worry. And worry I did. Be sure to note the large time gaps.

Pigs: (7/31/2007 8:32:26 PM): hello?

Pigs: (7/31/2007 8:34:37 PM): um, it's a little scary when you stop responding...

Pigs: (7/31/2007 8:42:30 PM): ahem...

Eddie: (7/31/2007 8:46:59 PM): i'm here
Eddie: (7/31/2007 8:47:00 PM): brb

Pigs: (7/31/2007 8:47:05 PM): k

At this point, I was relatively certain that some kidnappers/robbers had broken into her house and forced her to type that at gunpoint. Then she disappears for another 32 minutes. Clearly, she's bound and gagged and stashed under something heavy. My heart began to pound as my imagination took off.

Pigs: (7/31/2007 9:02:30 PM): DUDE! what's going on?
Pigs: (7/31/2007 9:02:49 PM): i gotta head to bed soon, but i don't know what's happening over there.

Pigs: (7/31/2007 9:14:25 PM): okay, look here. you call me when you finish whatever the heck you're doing. i have to go out of the office.

Twenty minutes had passed. What on earth was going on? I called her phone three times, not getting an answer. I looked up the phone number to her local podunk police department. One more check on IM:

Pigs: (7/31/2007 9:17:52 PM): YOU!
Eddie: (7/31/2007 9:18:52 PM): i'm here
Eddie: (7/31/2007 9:18:55 PM): just give me a minute
Pigs: (7/31/2007 9:19:01 PM): what the heck are you doing??
Pigs: (7/31/2007 9:19:10 PM): i swear i'm about to call the police

Pigs: (7/31/2007 9:23:27 PM): you must agree that this is very strange behavior and it's causing me to delay my viewing of bb

The minutes ticked by like hours. I dialed her number a few more times, had Mr. Pigs read this transcript, and readied my phone to call the law to go check on her.

Pigs: (7/31/2007 9:29:48 PM): EDDIE MIDDLENAME LASTNAME!!!

Pigs: (7/31/2007 9:32:56 PM): there better be a darn good explanation for this
Pigs: (7/31/2007 9:33:33 PM): i'm not going to bed until you call me. so call. stat.

Pigs: (7/31/2007 9:46:32 PM): if you don't IM me or call me, i'm going to hunt down thatguy’s phone number and send him to check on you.

It was now well past my bedtime and Big Brother was out of the question. I gave it one more try.

Pigs: (7/31/2007 10:02:16 PM): dude, i'm gonna call the big country police to go check on you.

Now, good readers, what would you have done? End of story to come after suggestions are made to me, the good friend over here in Texas with the active imagination.

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