We begin with the less-than-sophisticated 4th grade yearbook comments:
To my fellow Bucky Beaver. Don't change your teeth if you do I won't recenize you.
I like you Stacie Schumacher! (not my name, hers)
....and let's not forget the endearing:
I hope you're in Girl Scouts next year
Those deep and meaningful fourth graders soon grew into worldly, catty fifth graders. You can begin to see my rep developing. It wasn't at all dorky either....
To a real smart person who is nice helping me with my homework. Matt. (5th grade hottie)
I really like you as a friend. Jenny. (how else might Jenny like me?)
Hmmm. I wonder what happened to make Amy retract her good summer wishes? It must have been serious for her to have scribbled in my yearbook.
See you next year! Don't throw away any more retainers! Maureen.
Oh! Horrible flashbacks to the day I tossed my retainer away with my lunch trash. Memories.....returning.....harsh! Brutal! Climbing through school dumpster at dusk with my dad standing in the hole with the flashlight! Darned parents who believed in natural consequences. (In case you're wondering, the retainer was recovered from the dumpster. It was then worn.)
See you next year! Good luck with the guys! (if you go with one make sure he doesn't get down your pants!) Your friend, Stacey!
Um, WHOA. What? Hello? Fifth grade? We were eleven? I'm relatively certain I had not a clue what she was talking about at that time. Apparently, she later became the class slut is the word on the street.
Soon, we were 6th graders:
Pigs, You're a weird dude but noone can help you. It's the "Gene's" fault! Kelly. (umkay?)
To the skinniest legged person I know. Stay skinny but eat sometimes. Danni.
Pigs, I am sort of glad I sit behind you in reading. You are nice. Emily.
This one cracked me up. She's "sort of glad" she sits behind me. Whoa, Nelly! What a compliment! Touch her! I must've been awesome to very awesome on the social totem pole to earn that comment.
Finally, the comments became increasingly sophisticated by 7th grade.
Pigs, Have a special summer. Wish I didn't know you. Sike!!! Kelly
Pigs, You are a kind, fair, and decent human being. (syke) You are just a wild prostitute! (syke) Oh well I can't think of what you are. See you next year. Ben (math class disrupter)
I kind of suspect that last one was supposed to be flirty on some level. I also suspect that the 1988-89 school year was the year in which "sike" became very, very big.
I conclude from reading these comments that:
a) I was just as dorky as I remembered being.
b) I was known exclusively for being weird and for being skinny.
c) I was not crazy when I argued previously on this blog about the spelling of the word "sike" or "syke" or as cousineddie claimed "psych". According to my yearbook, all of the youth in my school spelled it either "sike" or "syke". So there.
d) I underlined the names of all the people I considered friends. The coolness just oozes out of me.