Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Get on the Fashion Train, and Ride It!

I'm so glad I'm not a boy. Let's just get that out there.

There are many reasons I'm glad I'm not a boy, such as I prefer having indoor plumbing and Adam's apples totally gross me out, but the reason I'm going to discuss today is fashion oriented. That's right, fashion. I may not look like a fashionista, but I like me some clothes.

The purpose of clothes in my mind is to provide variety in your life. To show your personality and your style. To be unique or to fit in, take your pick. The point is that clothes should be different. Like, each day, you should look at least slightly different than the day before.

Let me take you into my closet. Not literally, because it's messy and I don't want to tidy the closet just to take a picture of it for my blog. Don't worry, I'm a fairly good describer. Descriptor. Whatever. My side of the closet features two bars, high for summer, low for winter because that matches my moods as they relate to seasons. Shut up, it's my closet. Anyway....throughout each bar there are many colors and multiple patterns. There are button downs and polos, there are t-shirts and going out shirts (as though I go out). There are capris and pants and shorts and skirts and dresses.

Now let's look at Mike's side. The Man Side. There is a bar of shirts and a bar of pants. Along the shirt bar, the shirts are sorted into colors: white and blue. That's right, two colors. And the pants row? There's black, navy, and khaki. That's it! No more. The whole affair just makes me feel sad. Now, if Mike were here, I'm sure he would tell you that I'm exaggerating and whatnot, but for the most part, that is exactly what his closet looks like!

I brought it to Mike's attention, the sadness that I feel over men's lack of fashion expression and he was offended - offended! - that I thought his closet was less than chromatic. I believe the word "boring" may have come into play. He claims that there is a great deal of variety in his wardrobe and set out to prove it.

He showed me how in the white shirt category, some of them have different types of collars. Some even have a small (blue) stripe. Some (!) have fancy cuffs. So, clearly, there is variety. There was even more in the blue section. There was pale blue, sky blue, dark blue, and true blue. There were even some blue ones with stripes (white). I was obviously mistaken in my assumptions.

It all became ever more clear when we delved into the pants bar......subtle stripes, shades of plaid, and barely-noticeable check patterns were pointed out to illustrate the vast, vast diversity within this wardrobe.

Blank, glazed over stare....I'm almost as bored writing about it as I was looking at it. The one thing guys have going for them? Ties! If I had the misfortune of being a guy, I would wear really fun ties. Bright colors and fun patterns, maybe even funny picture ties. After sharing this sentiment with Mike, I received the same blank, glazed over stare that I had been guilty of earlier. It simply did not compute. You simply can't take the engineer out of the fashion choices. I've managed to weed out most of his pleated pants, but every now and then a fancy pleat or a tassled shoe will sneak out of the closet and go to work with Mike. Sigh. What am I to do?

I thank goodness that I'm a girl. Each time I go to buy clothes for the Piglet, I jealously eye the girls' clothing section. Little boys' clothes are cute, but little girls' clothes are fantastic. The bows! The ruffles! The sweet little flowers and doodads! The sun bonnets! There begins the cycle of fashion, I suppose.

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