Thursday, April 19, 2007

It's ketchin'.

Oh, Lordy. I've never gone this long without posting. *head hung in shame* But I do have a very valid excuse. Last weekend, I was in a wedding in NC and I've been gone for a week now. A whole week! The beginning of the week involved a great deal of running from place to place, city to city, bed to bed. Okay, that doesn't sound so good, but the gist is that Piglet slept in a different bed every night for about five nights in a row. And handled it swimmingly, I might add! I managed to keep him on Central Time, my goal for the trip, and nothing appears to have adversely affected his sleep. (Am now beating on wooden desk in hopes that perhaps I did not just jinx Piglet's slumber.)

The bad news? The flights. Piglet himself did fine, it seems that other forces were there to vex us terribly. First, the flight out. We found ourselves sitting directly in front of MawMaw and Jethro Clampett and their charge, their granddaughter, Germy von Hackerson. I should have requested a seat change after this exchange:

MawMaw: Ain't you just cute as the dickens on a big airlane! Gimme some sugar. [loud kissing sounds commence.]

Jethro: You gone cry like on that last flight? That won't so cute.

GvH: COUGH! HACK! COUGH! [directly behind Piglet and me]

Jethro: Why you barkin'? Yew sound like a beagle goin' BARK! BARK! I'm gone gitchew! [some sort of tickling takes place, invoking further respiratory distress from GvH.]

GvH: HACK! HACK! Rattle, rattle, hock, HACK! [Giggles with pride at being compared to the family hound. Throws in a few extra coughs for attention.]

MawMaw: Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl! Dang!

Jethro: Hurlp! Burh...urh....urg....HACK! [Rattly goodness from the depths of Granpappy's tobacco ridden lungs quake through the aircraft. I try to suppress my urge to vomit.] Girl! Look what you done! I think it's ketchin'! You done give it to me!

This was clearly when I should have changed my seat. Gotten off and waited on the next flight. Built a shield. Anything. No, no. I stayed put, thinking that Germy von Hackerson would go to sleep as Jethro so cleverly alluded. Nope. She instead hacked throughout the ENTIRE flight. Then they took turns, one making the other laugh and hack and gag and wheeze. I'm genuinely surprised that I didn't have lung in my hair after the flight. Piglet dozed off like a good little Piglet, but jumped with each cough and each tremor of my seat caused by GvH kicking the chair as she tried to cough ever-harder to impress her emphyzema-ridden elder.

It was a long flight. Needless to say, Piglet got sick, I got sick, Mike got sick, and finally, my dad got sick. Thanks, Clampett's, for sharing the fun. I'm off to take my medicine - Oh wait! That's right, I can't take anything because I'm still nursing. I'm off to use my saline drops and my tissues and get some rest. More about the trip soon. Missed y'all terribly.

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