Monday, July 03, 2006

Flying is Fun. Really.

I'm home! I had a really good trip. The plane ride home was less than stellar, but the trip was nice. On the way home, we had the pleasure of having our seats which I had chosen back in May relocated to the rear of the aircraft just across from the flight attendant's prep area and just in front of 12 teenagers traveling together. Yes, I counted.

It seems that when teenagers travel together, they follow some sort of tribal mating ritual in which the boys must act retarded and the girls must squeal excessively and exert their jungle striking abilities. I'm certain that Eddie and I were really obnoxious teenagers, but this was something all new. And then it was compounded by Crazy Hormone Woman who was relocated to Mike's other side. The 2.5 hour plane ride went like this:

Mike and I were seated just in front of the teenagers. I was torn between casting them a withering glare and giving them my best "I'm a cool thirty year old pregnant chick" grin. You know, let's be pals. I elected to sit quietly and wait to see which would work best. The engines revved. It's been a long time since I sat in the very back of a plane and those engines are Loud. Capital L loud. I have really sensitive hearing. Then arrived Crazy Hormone Woman.

CHW: HI! I'm moving back here with y'all because they put me next to some mom who thought her kid was precious. I said, 'I gotta have my sleep! I'm telling you up front I may snore!' Ha ha ha!!
Mike: Hello.
CHW: So where are y'all from?!
Mike: We live in Texas, but we're originally from the Carolinas.
CHW: YOU are KIDDING?! That is so WILD!
Mike: Um hmm.
Me: [nose deeply into book]
CHW: I think I've skeered your wife! She looks horrified!

The plane takes off, the engines lessen, and the teenagers begin a game of Slap Jack on the tray on the back of my seat. I grit my teeth and turn on a DVD for us to watch. Unfortunately, watching is all I can do because of the engine noise, the teenage tribal yells, and the hormone woman.

Boy Teenager: [Slap!] BAAAHHHHHH!
Girl Teenager: Heeeeeeeeeeeeey!! You are SO mean! Heh-hee! CourteNAY! Peter is SO stupid!
Boy Teenager: [WHACK! Slap!] Booooyah!
All Teenagers in Chorus: Yeah! TEXAS! Woooooooooooooo! TEXAS!
Boy Teenager: [WHAP! Slap!] You suck at this game.
Girl Teenager: Do not! Hee hee heeeeee! [Whap!]
Teenagers: We aren't.
CHW: I SAID STOP IT! (to Mike) You just can't take this crap from them. You gotta show who's boss.
Mike: Umhmmm. [fake watching movie we can't hear]

Et cetera. For two and a half hours. I really thought we would never land. But we did and I'm home. Gus was excessively excited and squealy and it's really nice to be back in my own bed. I've worked hard today to gather some pictures for my picture post, which will hopefully be up soon!

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