Who knew?

I have made a discovery today. I have figured out how to recoup the $35 Sam's Club membership fee. You simply go to Sam's hungry at least 7 times per year and eat lunch from all of the free sample stands! Just today, I enjoyed popcorn, hot chocoate, Diet Dr. Pepper, a nice seafood spread atop crackers, Reese's Cups, sausage, and some cheese! Clearly, that's the way to go. Whew! What a load off having learned a master plan. That $35 has always bothered me tremendously.

Some people, it seems, go to Sam's Club just for sport. There were many old retired men just hanging out in the food court area, taking advantage of 94 cent hot pretzels and ogling the young ladies. Once upon a time, last summer, I was winding my cart lazily through the aisles of SuperSized products, when I came upon a couple slow dancing right in the midst of the peanut butter aisle. It seems that their song had come on the loudspeakers and they were moved to celebrate their union right then and there. You just never know. I quietly turned my cart around and proceeded to another section. You can't mess around with Sam's love.

Sam's is a freaky place. I walk around in constant awe of the massive - ginormous! - containers of things and try to imagine under what conditions one would use such. For instance, the vat of ketchup. When exactly is that user friendly? It is a veritable vat! Very hard to handle. The humungo bags of tortilla chips as big as I am. How, how, how could you ever eat all those without them going stale unless you are a Mexican restaurant? I know people buy stuff like that for parties and such, but it appears that most people there are doing their weekly shopping.

I am most impressed by the cheese section in the deli. Now, I do believe that I could lay waste to one of those slabs of cheese in a week's time without a problem. I am obsessed with cheese. I could eat it any day, any time, on just about anything. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. I'm going to have to end this post now and go get some cheesy goodness.

Just remember: lunch at Sam's seven times a year and you recoup your fee. That is all.