Friday, October 14, 2005

For your entertainment during the hiatus...

Apparently the saga of my toe has inspired creativity in many...perhaps there is more to come! From the beginning, Freddie became suspicious of a conspiracy theory underfoot and did some investigative research to uncover what he believes to be the real story behind the sink shattering on my toe. View here for a laugh: Sink Theory

Then recently, my friend Jeff apparently had a sleepless night and wrote what he believes to be the other side of the story:

I thought that it might be funny to speculate what the owner of said foot demolishing establishment might say if he were called to the witness stand. So I sketched it out:

(You have to understand the impact that this would have in Spanish)

Mr. Sanchez tells his story

"Go ahead, Mr. Sanchez, please tell the court your story in your own words."

"Ever since I was a little boy, I dreamed of coming to America. I dreamed of opening a restaurant where I could make food from the recipes of my grandmother. I could send money back to my family, and maybe someday they could come to be with me in America. That was my dream. And now I am ruined. My dreams, they are now replaced with a brooding sadness. And it all happened so quickly. None could have seen that when they entered my establishment, that suffering followed them like a dutiful dog. The woman, the ringleader, the plaintiff, she there, how she was laughing when she came in! She laughed loudly! Boisterously! No doubt at some base jest. She being so engorged with wine and strong drink, was I surprised that she needed to urinate?”

“What happened then, Mr. Sanchez?”

“I nervously watched her as she weaved through my establishment to the restroom. Then there was the crash. She hollered in a beastly way. We ran to see what had become of her. We look in to find that the drunkard had broken my basin! And she was bleeding all over my clean floor! Ay yi yi! I cannot get the image from my mind!”

“For many years I have run this establishment. I run a clean and safe establishment. And within minutes of her walking in... poof! Then I find out that she has had many such things happen to her; that disaster follows close upon her wherever she goes! How can I not think that she has aroused the ire of the gods? Verily, they are chucking cocoanuts at her head! How can I not think that her cursed existence rivals only that of the chupacabra in bringing misfortune to the innocent? And how can I compete against that? How can I protect my business, my family? Does Nationwide or The Hartford cover the Apocalypse?”

“I am a simple man. I run a restaurant that serves burritos. I do not understand the ways of the gods. But I cannot help but feel that I am an unlucky wretch, your honor, an innocent bystander, collateral damage in the path of a justly deserved smiting!"

"Powerful words, Mr. Sanchez. The defense rests, your honor."

Personally, I feel that Jeff needs his own blog. What do you think? :o)

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