Monday, July 11, 2005

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

I've sure done a lousy job of posting lately, haven't I? All this being out of town, having company stuff has really thrown me off of them whole writing habit. CousinEddie came to stay with me this past week, so we have been plagued by incessant shopping and indulgent eating for many days now. The time has come to whip my life back into shape. I've got a house to clean! Laundry to do! Plants to water! And, sadly, lots and lots of school work to do. Blasphemy.
I have to read a 425 page book called Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades to renew my GT certificate for school. Then I have to answer about a bajillion questions about it. Essay ones. I think I might just answer them all in one response. See, I don't think the concept is really rocket science. Here's how it all plays out:

Why do bright kids get poor grades?

a) Because they are bored. They already know this stuff.

b) Because they are lazy. They've never had to work hard because it has always come to them naturally.

c) Because they are smarter than the system. They know their grades in 4th grade are not going to prevent them from getting into college.

d) All of the above.

Then I will circle the answer choice for D and turn in my paper, thereby giving them an example of a gifted student getting poor grades. Do you think they'd like my humor? I kind of doubt it, but it's a pleasureable thought to help me procrastinate actually reading the book and doing the assignment.

So....this post is already a bit rambly and disjointed, so I'll leap to another topic: Marlboro. Once upon a time, Mike and I went to a bar. This was about 6 or 7 years ago. There was a Marlboro promotion going on at the bar and if you played all these games, you got a free fleece vest, which was all the rage in bar fashion at that time. So we played, got our vests, and went on our merry way. Somehow, I got placed on their High Roller fan club list or something because it was shortly thereafter that Marlboro started plying me with gifts. The gifts arrive at my parents' house about every other month or so and mom opens them and lets me know if they're worthy of keeping.

Six years later, they are still coming. For my birthday this spring, I received a two piece pewter was pretty high cotton. It just sold on EBay for the cutthroat price of $1.49 plus shipping. I also received my own gen-yew-wine set of Marlboro Poker Cards. Over the years, I've gotten such goodies as a Zippo-esque lighter, a chili spoon, a portable pocket ashtray, and a pocket knife. I also get several magazines and promotional contest entries. Have no idea how I wound up on this list. I don't smoke, but I keep the products. My favorite is the portable ashtray. It holds up to 5 butts.

Now, that's handy. It's the gift that keeps on giving. I'm especially appreciative they they reminded me to extinguish the cigarette first. It's good to know that Marlboro has my safety in mind. Good people, Marlboro.

I'm not quite sure how I got from watering my plants to this. This blog is a huge diversionary tactic from all the things I'm supposed to be doing. I need to jump into my assignment feet first! After I finish my laundry. And go to the grocery store. And do about 100 things that I'd rather be doing than starting that book. I need to give myself a study schedule or I'm going to run out of summer. I officially commit to reporting my progress on that book on this blog. I need some accountability and I'll feel guilty if I have nothing to report. So that's it. No more posting until I have some progress to report.

-Author leaves abruptly to go procrastinate-

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