Death By Coconut: It Could Happen To You.

The following message could save your life. I came this close to being care flighted to an urgent care facility due to a critical coconut contusion during my vacation. I kid you not. Come along with me back to that fateful day. I will suffer through the retelling of that near tragic event in hopes that you, my dear reader, will gain awareness of this perilous possibility. This is my story.

There I was...walking innocently from my lounge chair in the midst of swaying palms, white sand, and turquoise waters. Having already had my morning ocean float, my early mid-morning nap, and my late mid-morning Dirty Banana beverage, it was now time for some rigorous activity. I needed some cardio. Rising from my chair, I took a long, languorous stretch and began an easy stroll across the sand to the bocce ball court.

And that's when it happened.

Exhibit A

A positively ginormous, brown, hairy death missile plummetted from the skyward reaches of the soaring feathery branches of - okay, I hate that much description. Way too many prepositional phrases.

A daggum coconut fell out of the sky and almost whacked me in my gourd. That's what happened. The apparently suicidal coconut landed with a thunderous thud that woke my friend from his blissful slumber as it slammed into the soft sand. Right in front of my feet. Had I not taken a long stretch after my Dirty Banana....well, I might not be here with you right now.

I was clearly spared to enable me to share my story and help others avoid the dangers of considering exercise during a vacation. Let this emotional testimony be a lesson to everyone. Always stretch before participating in any sport, no matter how trivial it may seem. It could save your life.