There I was...walking innocently from my lounge chair in the midst of swaying palms, white sand, and turquoise waters. Having already had my morning ocean float, my early mid-morning nap, and my late mid-morning Dirty Banana beverage, it was now time for some rigorous activity. I needed some cardio. Rising from my chair, I took a long, languorous stretch and began an easy stroll across the sand to the bocce ball court.
And that's when it happened.
A positively ginormous, brown, hairy death missile plummetted from the skyward reaches of the soaring feathery branches of - okay, I hate that much description. Way too many prepositional phrases.
A daggum coconut fell out of the sky and almost whacked me in my gourd. That's what happened. The apparently suicidal coconut landed with a thunderous thud that woke my friend from his blissful slumber as it slammed into the soft sand. Right in front of my feet. Had I not taken a long stretch after my Dirty Banana....well, I might not be here with you right now.
I was clearly spared to enable me to share my story and help others avoid the dangers of considering exercise during a vacation. Let this emotional testimony be a lesson to everyone. Always stretch before participating in any sport, no matter how trivial it may seem. It could save your life.