Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Naked Nasties

As we settled into our new surroundings and met up with our friends, we began to look around us. And boy, were there a lot of things to see. People to meet, friends to make, and things to stare at. Lots of things to stare at.

It all began early one morn as we floated aimlessly in the relaxing bay waters upon gently bobbing rafts. The bar didn't open until 10am, what else were we to do? We each settled back into our floats and talked about all things mindless.

And then I looked up. An error in judgment I would repeat many times that week.

Me: ARGH! [pressed face firmly into raft]
Mike: What is it?
Me: [gestured wildly in direction of bamboo fence]
Mike: ARGH! [hides face]
Jane: [Looks over] Augh! I'm blind!

And so on. It seems that the "Nudity Is Neat" policy actually extended beyond the alleged bamboo fence barrier to affect the rest of us when we were floating in the ocean. One glance up at the shoreline and there you had it. And a lot of it. What we had all actually witnessed that time was a very, um, thorough sunscreening ritual. A naked one. There was a lot of bending and, erm, rubbing. Of things. Then the Nudie Enthusiasts processed into the water to publicly make out. Never a dull moment.

Nude sunbathing was permitted only behind the semi-permeable bamboo fence. Because as you know, a bamboo fence can really protect you from everything. Not like the Naked Junkies might come out from behind it or anything. Topless sunbathing was permitted anywhere. Do you know who sunbathes naked or topless? Do you?! That's right, only the people who shouldn't. I looked up more times during the week to be faced full on with a set of droopy old saggy boobs than I care to count. During the week we also witnessed a naked wedding complete with naked photography, a naked male sunbather spread eagle on a lawn chair, and a couple with matching leopard print thongs bending and stretching:

Wow. That's right, I took a picture. Only with you, my dear readers in mind. One of our main conversations that we had over and over again was "What parts to you think would burn?" There were many theories provided, but none really proven. What do you think?

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