Sunday, March 06, 2005

Eastward Bound Hair

So, I've been feverishly cleaning all day for two reasons. One, because Gus has taken a newfound interest in the sunflower seed birdfood that the birds drop on the ground. Two, because I brought home some work from school that I need to get done before tomorrow.
A bit of turns out that beagles are not able to fully digest sunflower seeds. Well, the shells. Husks? Hulls? Whatever, I'm not very practiced in my seed vernacular. At any rate, the shells appear to have two options: pass through whole or come back up whole. Which leads to my cleaning frenzy. I have thrice cleaned up some expelled goodness courtesy of Gus in the last two days. Said expulsions have taken acouple of forms, which we will henceforth refer to as A and B. [I realize this is a lot of information, but I really need to express myself.]
First, we had the Pile 'O Seediness. When I opened the door to Gus' room after work on Friday, I was struck with a stench so rotten my gag impulse was triggered. So I did what any sane person would do. I pulled Gus out of the room, shut the door, and left the pile of seedly goodness a la Form A for Mike. Unfortunately, he refused to go near it and it turned out that I only prolonged my cleaning fate. Sicknasty.
Second, Gus woke us up at 4:55am today making that wretched hulrp...hurlp...hurlp noise that is hideously familiar to any beagle owner. As I staggered blindly out of bed and rushed to get him outside, he puked right in front of the bedroom door. A nice little wet pile of sunflower seeds. Form B....fabulous.
Third, after Mike took him outside and gave him some water and [normal, appropriate] dog food, I cleaned up the second mess. Gus, however, took a brief leave of absence. While I scrubbed away at the carpet [in my pajamas at 5am on a Sunday], Gus vanished somewhere in the house. As I returned from the laundry room, I found him, hunched up in the dining room, producing Form A of the sunflower goodness right there on the floor. In the dining room. Deep breath, cleansing thoughts, repeat step two.
So, it's apparent why I had to launch into a cleaning frenzy today. Those three tainted rooms clearly had to be scrubbed and one thing just led to another. I just couldn't stop myself. Everytime I saw my pile of schoolwork sitting on my desk, I was able to conjure up another cleaning task for myself. Here I sit, in my spanking clean house. I think I am officially the dirtiest thing in my home. I have one piece of hair jutting directly east from my head. The retching wonderdog is wagging his tail in the doorway. There is a pile of work insolently leering at me, so...I'm blogging. Something I hadn't planned to do today in light of all the work I have to do, but here I am. Being that I am filthy, I think that it might be the perfect time for spa time. I think today is the day to get the feet ready for spring. A pedicure won't take that long. I'll still have plenty of time to do my work. Later. Much, much later.


Anonymous said...

Shouldn't your title be spelled 'hare', as in rabbit trail?

posthipchick said...

gus's room? seriously?

Pigs said...

Gus's room = the room in which Gus sleeps while we aren't home. Not a dog bedroom.

Badaunt said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Badaunt said...

Just a wee reminder...

gandalf23 said...

Have you considered a doggie door? They are soooo great. Seriously, I don't know how we lived without one before. The dogs will head out to poop or pee, and even to throw up (sometimes).

Whatever kind of back door you have, you can add a doggie door. If you're renting and have a regular door, just buy another one at Home Depot and put it in and install the door in it, leaving the original un cut for when you move out.

I've even put them in in sliding glass doors. Again from HD, get a one inch by 12 inch by eight foot board. Cut it to slightly larger than the height of the opening, so that you have to flex it to get it in. Cut out the hole, install doggie door, and then caulk the whole thing. Might need to use small pieces of wood as shims. Screw a door height piece of 1x4 to each side of the 1x12 so that there is "U" for the sliding door to slide into. This keeps someone from being able to push in the doogie door board from the outside to gain entrance. And it helps keep the wind out. Line this "U" with weather striping for a good seal. Secure the sliding door on the inside with a piece of 2x4 between the door and the wall. Viola! Doggie door in a sliding glass door.

Not that I work for a doggie door company or anything. It's just that they're sooo nice and really much easier to install than most people realise.