My Inevitable Return and Evaluation

I've had a nice break and I'm really not ready to go back. I have some new clothes to wear that I'm very excited about, but I'm sure they will be the subject of much scrutiny as ten year old girls seem to discover fashion over Christmas Break each year.
Even in the ghetto it was a topic of interest. [Walk into the classroom with a smile to welcome the kids back, not realizing they had already evaluated me, my clothing, and my attitude prior to my arrival.] "Yes she DO got on a red dress!" (confirmed from the other side of room) "Yeah she do. It RED. Snap!"
Who knew?
What about the time when...I stood before the line of squirmy nine and ten year olds patiently, giving my best, "I've got all day, it's your recess time" eyebrow, when "Ooh! Miss B! Why you got hair on yo arms like a man?" Tavario began petting my arm like one would a kitten. "It soft, but long!" He looks up to catch my eyebrow nearing my hairline and backed off. I took a deep breath and tugged at my sleeves. Resuming my line monitor stance, I felt another hand sneak dangerously near my fur."It DO feel soft!" confirmed Kesheria. "Do you use lotion? I do on my elbows. And my knees. They ashy." I narrowed my eyes at her as she smiled back at me. "Miss B, yo face bleeding. It red, do it itch?" A wayward pimple. Is nothing sacred? Now they're discussing my acne. At this point, I decide the line will be moving toward its destination whether it is ready to or not. You can see that this must come to an end.
Or, on the other hand, you have the suburban breed...
Kids enter the classroom and greet me good morning, but it is the girls who pause to give me my morning once-over.
"Mrs. R! Cuuuuuute outfit! Old Navy?" smiles one chipper student.
"Gap, duh," another student breezes in behind her, ignoring me, just taking in my clothes. I smile, not sure whether to tell her that it's actually Banana Republic, thank you very much, before I realize they have successfully distracted me already and it's only 7:30am. Focus. I read over our lessons on the board and start to stand up when I feel a small hand in my hair. Then a nose. An entire face. I turn around to see Jordan's beaming rapturous expression."Your hair smells sooooooooo good! What do you use?" she gazes at me, the fashion diva of the fourth grade. I open my mouth to tell her that it's obviously Herbal Essences and quickly snap it closed. I will not give in to this distraction!
Going back will be a breeze. There is a state writing assessment in just 7 short weeks, and all I have to do is teach these vermin how to write. Fabulous!