Monday, December 06, 2004

The Pee Plea

So, today I was calling kids up to check their homework to see how many pages each had read over the weekend. I called up my friend (Brandon) and he plead, "Can I go to the bathroom?" with a rather desperate look in his eyes. Being the sensitive, caring teacher that I am, I replied, "Tell me how many pages you read and you can go." Seems reasonable, no?
This (five second) delay was apparently the breaking point for this child. He put his HAND down his PANTS right in front of me and started scribbling into his reading log with the other hand. When his weaker hand could no longer contain the situation, he switched hands, plunging his right hand into his nether region and writing with his left! I stared at him with my mouth hanging open for several moments. I had no idea how to respond! Finally I uttered a, "(Brandon)! Just go!" followed by what I hope was a sound of disgust and disdain designed to echo behind him as he dashed out of the room and down the hall clutching...stuff. In public. I proceeded to exchange my "What a Freak Show" glance with several students who were seizing the opportunity to side with me and return the Headshake of Shame. Zwah? Huh? He's in fourth grade! He's ten years old! Do you not know by then to go PEE before it reaches that point? I mean...I don't know. Good grief.

5 comments:

Eddie said...

Ummmm, I still have to go in an emergency situation like that every once in a while, even now. All of a sudden it just hits. And, when I was in 3rd grade I peed on the floor in Ms. Kamden's math class. Not everyone has such a superior bladder as you. ;)

Pigs said...

I DO have a rather superior bladder, I admit. That's a job requirement for teaching. You pee at 6am and 4pm. I'll be in Depends by 35. However, I was more troubled by the grasping of parts than the insta-tinkle.

Bubba said...

Sometimes if I drink alot of beer I have to go right away, no waiting. Was this kid drinking alot of beer?

Pigs said...

Yes. It was Dollar Draft Day in my classroom. It's all clear to me now.

wanda said...

Ginny's bladder has been superior since she was two years old. She could last an entire 12-hour trip from Louisville to Greesboro without "going". She didn't care for public bathrooms at that age (still doesn't). She chose to just "hold" it all day. Since being a teacher does not allow you to "go" on demand, it's no problem for Ginny. This is why there doesn't seem to be any sympathy for her students with small bladder capacities.