A Very Formal Interview with Piglet, aged 4 years, 11 months

How old are you? 4 and a half

When were you born? Texas.

Where did you come from? Georgia.

What is your dad's name? Daddy.

What does your dad do? Work.

What is your mom's name? Mommy.

What does your mom do? [long silence] Take care of you! (Pigpen: "Are you the babysitter, Mama?")

What do you do at school? Play on the playground.

What are you scared of? Snakes.

What is your favorite thing? To help Daddy work.

What is your favorite color? Purple. Orange. (Pigpen: "No, I like pink! Hey look! A birdie!")

What is your favorite food? Tacos! Mostly because of sour cream.

What foods do you not like? Chicken tenders. I don't even like chicken tenders. (Pigpen: "Look at that birdie! Awwww! Hi birdie! Can I have chicken nuggets?")

Where is your favorite place to eat? Chepe's! They have sides of sour cream.

What is your favorite animal? Giraffe-ies! (Pigpen: "And I like a baby hippo! Look, another birdie!")

What does Daddy say to you? Do you want to go to Lowe's with me?

What does Mommy say to you? Be good.

Who is your best friend? Vivian. Only Vivian.

What is your favorite movie? McQueen

What is your favorite toy? Typewriter. (Me: You don't have a typewriter. Piglet: What is a typewriter?)

What are your favorite things to do? Cut down trees. Go down the water slide. Play.

What is your favorite book? Mickey Mouse. But the handle broke off, but Daddy fixed it. I didn't actually break the handle off. It wasn't me that did it. What are you typing?

What do you want to do when you're grown up that you can't do now? Hmmmm! Dig holes that are very, very deep with a big boy shovel.

What do you want to be when you grow up? An engineer like Daddy.

Where do you want to live when you grow up? Here. Here, here.

Are you going to get married? No

Are you going to have any kids? No! I want to stay here!

How many? No, I want to stay here!

Boys or girls? I'm here! Mommy, are you even listening to me?

Who will clean the house? Me. (Pigpen: "No, I want to do it!" Piglet: "Absolutely no.")

[At this point, Piglet reached over and turned off my computer and some unmentionable parenting occurred. We will resume now.]

Who will take out the garbage? Me!
Where is your favorite place to go? The pool.

What's something you think kids should be allowed to do? Saw! With a circular saw!

What's something you don't like? I don't like.....hmm. I don't like daddy to say no.

(Pigpen: "Piglet, are you almost done? Can you come get in my rocket ship?") And so my day resumes...