There Has to Be a Better Way

Have you ever been shoe shopping with two kids under the age of 4? HAVE YOU? It’s not for the weak. A few things to note:

Most importantly, the stroller. One of the children must be strapped firmly into a restraining device at all times. Upon entering shoe stores, all children promptly morph into deviant forms of octopus and it is critical that you – the two armed mother –have both arms available for one child at a time to place each snatched shoe back upon the shelf in its rightful spot.

The other reason to only have one kid on the loose, particularly because I shop exclusively with boys, is that I need to be able to have at least one eye on girls’ shoes. WHY must girls’ shoes (and clothes, don’t get me started) be SO MUCH CUTER than boys’? Look at the sweet girls’ sandals they have to choose from! Not that I want Piglet and Pigpen to wear frilly sandals with flowers and glitter, but BOY do the girls have more options.

The fitting is surely the worst part. Piglet acts like he is as inconvenienced as if he is being cavity searched, while Pigpen screams as though the sales associate is cutting his toes off one by one with a hatchet while she attempts to get an accurate reading on her little foot measurer thinger. Do you know how you get an accurate shoe size on a tool that requires a toddler to be standing on their full weight when they are busy throwing themselves on the floor? Neither do I. I think I’m going to start using this Startrite deal so I can do it in the privacy of my own home, away from the prying, judgy eyes of sales people and those mommies with Perfect Children Who Hold Still.

Look! They even have one for little people – check this out:



I’m pretty sure whoever invented this little system had two small boys, probably ages, oh…1 and 3. I wonder if they had a kid climb a pile of shoe boxes in the store too?