Bless you.

I am surrounded by the infirm. Mr. Pigs thoughtfully brought it home to us, shared it with our children, who then passed it along to my mom who was kindly staying with us this week and helping us out. She was helping me by holding Pigpen on Monday when he sneezed into her mouth. And there you have it: our little home experiment on how germs spread. It kind of took me back to those blood bourne pathogens videos we had to watch at the beginning of each school year. (Rookie mistake: having your mouth open around a sneezing kid)

So last night, as I sat between Mr. Pigs and his multi-colored loogeys and my mom and her hacking cough, I felt very, very exposed. She left to the basement to sleep and I sent Mr. Pigs upstairs to the spare room. It was then that I launched into gear. Armed with Lysol, I attacked every doorknob, lightswitch and community handled item in the house. I took my Zicam, I sucked down an Airborne toddy, and thought what the heck and placed a cut onion in the room with me to absorb bacteria. Could I be more paranoid? The answer is yes. My hands are raw from the washing. I then bedded down - alone - for a good night of rest to help my body fight off this malaise.

Except for the minor detail that my children are sick. Pigpen was up at 11:15, 11:40 and 1:30 crying with teething and ear pain. Motrin and a few turns in the rocking chair got him back to sleep. My bleary-eyed self was harshly awakened again at 2:15 by Piglet talking in his sleep, 3:15 by Piglet yelling his own name in his sleep, and 4:39 by Piglet having a bad dream. Pigpen had the courtesy to sleep until 7:30 and Piglet until 8:05, thank goodness.

It was totally one of those days. When I arrived at Piglet's door, he had already done me the courtesy of removing all of his clothes and changing into his Clemson football uniform, complete with socks and helmet, but minus underwear. He charged around the room, challenging Pigpen to a tackle as I attempted to make his bed, only to find his sheets wet from his leaky water cup. Sigh. Change sheets. Note that mom has still not risen from basement.

Toss soiled laundry over railing, herd one bedheaded Pigpen and one helmeted Piglet down the stairs to search for coffee, breakfast, and mom. All three eluded me for some time as I spent a good thirty minutes prying Pigpen off of Gus and Piglet off of Pigpen. I was finally able to make breakfast when Piglet climbed into the toy box and amused himself by removing all the toys while Pigpen banged his guitar on my hardwoods. Don't judge me - I needed coffee.

Mom at last emerged, having lain awake until 4am, the victim of reverse side effects of Nyquil. She coughed, hacked, and sputtered until Pigpen scurried off to his morning nap (yes, STILL) and I took more Zicam and did my patented anti-cold dance. Okay, it's not a dance, it's a chant "Notgonnagetit, notgonnagetit" and a dapper little ankle kick. Then came the challenge. Getting Piglet to pick up the toys.

We have had some good success with 1, 2, 3 Magic with him, but due to his illness of the last week and a half, I haven't pushed it as much and he was ripe for a retraining. It probably would have taken him 2-3 minutes to pick up the toys if he were a reasonable, logical creature, but we know that's not the case. Upon reaching this third "citation", he gets sent to time out, which due to my own laziness regarding the staircase, happens to be my laundry room. Stop judging me. I'll make it a little worse when I mention that it's also Gus' room.

On trip number 1 to time out, he removes all of his clothing. This nudity and subsequent refusals to dress result in time outs 2-6. At last, he gives up and emerges, re-clad in his uniform. Getting the toys picked up took another 5 or 6 rounds in the laundry room, during which he took apart the dog bed, got the fly swatter stuck in a heating vent, spilled the dog's water, climbed on the dryer, and put the dog's food bowls in the (running) washing machine. Then, he up and decided to pick up those toys lickety split and didn't have another time out all day. This kid is one big mystery wrapped up in stubborn with a dollop of odd.

The rest of the day went swimmingly, aside from the fact that my hands are raw from washing and beginning to crack. Fingers crossed that I can survive this cesspool of germs and cooties.

Happy Turkey!

Guh! Nah!

Does it mean anything to you that I've been blogging in my head three or four times a day? Probably not, but I swear I have. You'd think that as an individual who has been blogging in their head three or four times a day, that I would have something to write about. Alas, I am blank.

I've got two sick kids. I missed the Clemson game today due to said sick kids. I've started playing tennis again once a week. I've been cooking a lot. I'm still not really paying for groceries. I finished a book in a quick week because it was due at the library and I'm too cheap to pay the fine. Is my life exciting or what?? Oh! Today I gave three haircuts and my dog chased his weiner for about half an hour. Can't forget those details.

Let's see....what's new with the kids? Hmmm....well, Pigpen is violently allergic to leaves and we now live in, well, leaf-land. So he was at the ER on Sunday night, unable to stop coughing, which is his version of asthma. There was a woman beside us in the waiting room who had something tragic going on with her neck. I'm dying - DYING - to know what it was. A nurse kept coming over to move her shirt aside and say things like, "Well, it's getting smaller! That's a good sign!" What WAS it? I must know. I was briefly distracted by her friend with the Waffle House uniform eating McDonald's. She shared with me at length her hatred for Waffle House cuisine.

Back to my kid. He didn't get to bed that night (nor I) until 1:30am and was up at 8:30. He took one nap of about an hour this week and called it good. It is not, in fact, good. He's a cranky hot mess. It wasn't until today (being Saturday!!) that I made a connection to the doctor re-prescribing him Singulair as the root of this problem. On Monday, I thought it odd that I had a half bottle of Singulair inexpicably leftover from last year. Today, I remembered some behavioral issues last spring. Then I read the bottle warning: If this medication causes mood or behavior changes, sadness, fear or depression, contact your physician. HELLO! Mom of the Year, 2009. Sigh. I have no idea how we're going to keep him from coughing all winter.

Pigpen. Well, Pigpen is just really, really busy. He talks, he walks, he runs, he points and wants to know the name of everything. He puts himself in cabinets, he puts yogurt in his hair, he climbs up the outside of our stairs, he shows everyone his tongue. His first sentence was when he learned to discipline the dog. ("Guh! Nah!" = Gus, no!) His second sentence was "Gus barks". Yes, yes he does. He's very dramatic and very hilarious, which is pretty striking next to Piglet's anal retentive worrisome nature. They are going to be interesting to watch as they grow up. One tidy and clean, one chronically dirty and accident-prone. One serious, one silly. Maybe they'll be buds.

I hope to have more time to blog. I intend to every day....when is someone going to invent that little doohicky that transcribes my thoughts to the Internet? How hard could that be?

How to Be Cheap Part 2

Yesterday, I shared way too much information about my grocery habits. Today I will tell you a few other things I do to save money.

First of all, I want to put it out there that when I talk about being cheap, I don’t mean on quality. I like for my kids and me to wear nice clothes and have nice things, I just prefer to get those things at the best possible price or using some creative methods. (Now I sound like a shoplifter.) Here are some somewhat random things that I do to save/earn money.

1. Eating out can be a big money suck, but it’s not something we’re willing to give up. I cook family dinners Sunday through Thursday, but I don’t cook on weekend nights. Obviously, you can save restaurant coupons that come in the mail, etc. If there are places your family loves to go, be sure to go to their website and sign up for their emails or clubs – this is the way I get many of my good coupons for eating out. Another favorite of mine is restaurant.com where you can buy a gift certificate for $10 off $20 or $25 off $50 for a fraction of the cost. Never, ever pay the regular price for these certificates, even though it’s not a terrible deal. Always check on retailmenot.com first to see what codes you can use to get 50-90% off of the certificate. While we’re on that topic, check with retailmenot.com before you buy anything online.

2. Speaking of buying online, let’s talk about gifts. I shop for Christmas and birthdays year round. For example, I’m not buying the boys anything for Christmas because I have such a stash for them in the gift closet downstairs that I’m all set for Santa. A site that I like a lot for gift ideas is wantnot.net, which trolls the internet for sales, deals, and discount codes, saving me the time of looking. I read it daily from my Google Reader and if it’s something that I could use, I check it out, otherwise, I’m not out much time. Another thing I like is the ebay Daily Deals, which are 4 items emailed to you every day that are 60-90% off. Most of the time, I just delete it, but occasionally it’s something that would make a great gift. And birthday parties kill me, so anytime I see a steal on a kid gift I buy it and stash it so that at birthday party time, I don’t have to go out and spend $15-20 because I have a stash of nice things that I got for $5.

3. Staying on the internet, my new favorite thing is Swagbucks. Swagbucks is a search engine that produces the same results as a Google search, but lets you win this fake money that can be redeemed for prizes and gift cards. Using it daily, I probably win $2-$5 a day and for $45 you can buy a $5 Amazon gift card. These add up fast and I save them to use for, what else? My gift closet stash. Free money! Sign up here.

4. If you’re a book buyer, try paperbackswap.com. I go to the library for most things, but I also like to do PBS to get books that I want to keep or to get rid of books I don’t need which earn me credits for new books for me!

5. Haircuts kill me. I get my own hair cut, but the frequency that boys and men must get their hair cut makes me kind of insane. Especially when they charge $15 for a kids’ haircut. So, I learned how to cut hair. I can cut Mr. Pigs’ hair and Piglet’s every 2-3 weeks, but Pigpen’s is a challenge for me. He has this wispy bird feather fluff that is proving to be challenging. But the other two? Clipper, blend, cut. Easy.

6. This might be TMI, but as dirty as Pigpen is, I was going through a roll of papertowels every few days and they aren’t easy to get that cheap. I may not have paid for toilet paper in over a year, but I haven’t had that kind of luck with paper towels. So, one day I took all of Piglet’s old barf rags, any old t-shirts, old washcloths and I cut them all into rags and popped them into a drawer. Now, I go through a roll of papertowels in about a month. I reserve them exclusively for dog puke and other such related nastiness.

7. One last thing that I do for fun is try products for companies that are using word of mouth advertising. They will send you product to try and bunches of coupons to go with it. The more you participate, the more you get. My favorite is bzzagent.com, where they “pay” you with MyPoints, which you can redeem for gift cards. Another one I like is SheSpeaks.com. Oh, and vocalpoint.com is another one that will send samples with lots of great coupons to share.


Whew. There. I’m done. I promise to stop for a while, but I hope some of you enjoy those ideas!

The Cheapness, Part One

Why haven't I posted, you might ask? Because I got it in my head that I wanted to write this deal about being frugal and all and can't seem to make myself actually write it even though 10 times a day I think of something else I want to add. I'm going to start now and whether I actually finish will remain to be seen. And it might depend on how tired I get, how well my brain continues working, or what might come on TV. I’m easily distracted. (Oh, look! Turtles!) (10 points for naming that movie.) (See? How distracted?) (GAH!)

Perhaps a list would help my mind take control. Ahem…

Pigs’ Tips for Living Frugally While Not Sacrificing What You Want.

That’s an awfully long title. Surely I can be more concise.

How to Be Cheap. By Pigs.

There. That seems more appropriate. As long as we’re talking about not wasting, we should start with words, eh? (What, I’m Canadian now?)

1. Most importantly: The Coupon. The coupon alone is not really worth that much. The coupon when paired with your grocery store’s handy dandy sales ad is magical. If you have a grocery store that doubles or triples coupons, match those bad boys up with a sale and you’ve got yourself a deal.

2. Let’s say you want to get yourself some more coupons. Well, you have a few options. You can look online at websites like coupons.com. You can go to the actual product website that you are seeking and see if they have any printables available. If you have a product that L-L-LOVE and must have whether it’s on sale or not, you might email that company and rave about their product. I would be surprised if they did not give you much free stuff. I am a big fan of calling that 1-800 number on food packaging. (“Hi, Dannon? Yes, Pigs again. I was wondering if you could tell me if the date on your packaging is sell by or use by? What? You want to send me a free product coupon? Well, thank you!”)

In my neck of the woods, I’ve discovered a lovely way to get more coupons….get on the train, and ride it! (hoo hoo!) A coupon train, that is. There’s a few other nerds in my neighborhood who like to coupon too [if you can use “coupon” as a verb, you’re clearly extra cool] and each week we pass our Sunday newspaper coupons around and like magic, 6 sets of coupons from the last six weeks appear in your mailbox for your perusal! Voila!

Or, you could buy more newspapers – Zzzzzzzzzzz….

3. I will continue on the joy that is the coupon. Check with your store to find out about their coupon policy. Some stores take competitor’s coupons (Publix). Some stores let you stack their store coupons with manufacturer’s coupons for a double whammy (Target, Publix). Some stores let you load all kinds of nifty e-coupons onto your shopper card and use those in addition to paper coupons! (Kroger) Check into sites like cellfire.com, shortcuts.com, and pgesaver.com. You, too, can be a geek like me.

4. What happens when the stuff on sale is stuff I don’t need? Well, this has a two part answer. Maybe three. We’ll see how wordy I am tonight. First, does it cost any money? If the answer is yes, and you don’t need it, don’t buy it. If the answer is a tiny bit of money (under a quarter?) and you will use it at some point and it won’t go bad, get it. (see point 6 ahead) If the item is totally free, I get it regardless, because there is always someone who can use it, whether it’s a neighbor or the food pantry. You can donate almost anything non-perishable. The final question is “Does it earn me extra money?” and this will take us to #5.

5. Extra money? From the grocery store? This is a fun little bit called “overage”. When your coupons are above the value of the product you are buying, it sometimes creates overage, or money that should technically be your change, but you kind of look like a jerk walking out with products and change. My use of overage is to put it toward things that I can’t get coupons for, things that I need, things that don’t go on sale. Produce, meat, milk, bread, DIAPERS. Good Lord, the diapers. I won’t pay more than $6.99 for Pampers, but that’s still $6.99 that someone’s going to be pooping in. It pains me to think about it too hard. Overage is your friend.

6. This doesn’t flow well from #5, but I mentioned it above and it is the stockpile. Things go on sale at certain times of the year and coupons and generally coincide with these sales. For example, Kleenex are often on sale September-November. Why? Because people are finished buying them for back to school and in need of them because their little monsters are back in school spreading the germs around. Soups are on sale now, because….it’s cold. Duh. And so on. When things are on repeated sales/coupons, it’s good to stock up on them whether you need them or not to create your stockpile that you can pick out of during the sale drought. You should see my basement and closets. There are parts of my house that resemble a grocery store. My pride will not allow me to share photos.

7. Since I’m on a roll with the grocery business, let’s finish that topic up. This brings us to meal planning. I plan my dinners each week based on what I already have in the house and what produce and meats are on sale at the store. This in itself really saves a lot of money. Our meals almost always provide leftovers for our lunches as well. ‘Cause I have a hangup about not eating cold stuff for lunch, which is irrelevant, but interesting.

8. Finally, to finish up the groceries, a couple of things that I’m partial to, but might not jive with you. These are just a matter of preference. First, markdowns. I find that I am able to find really great deals on meats, cheese, eggs, and milk/yogurt products that are marked down to half or less at my store because they are within a week or days or their sell by dates. All meat that I buy goes straight into the freezer when I get home anyway, so this one is a no brainer for me. Milk and cheese (shredded) will also freeze. My boys eat yogurt like Hoovers, so there’s no worries there on the dates.

9. Second, store brands. Anything I can’t get on sale or with a coupon but I need for a meal I am totally open to trying the store brand. I’d say 75% of the time I’m okay with it. Being brand picky is not something that I’m guilty of anymore. My favorite brand is now Free.

10. To wrap up, I’d say set a budget. I set a grocery budget and an eat out budget, mostly as a matter of personal challenge. My grocery budget, which includes diapers, beauty/health products and paper products is $40/week. Sometimes I’m a little over or under, but I’m usually close. Our weekly eat out budget is $20. I’m a wizard with restaurant coupons, kids eat free nights, and restaurant.com.

There you have it, friends. A synopsis of my grocery-ing ways. I’ve outed myself as the cheapest person you know. Please don’t judge me too harshly.