Tuesday, September 01, 2009

What Else? It's Poop.

Oh my gosh it was such a Tuesday that I barely want to describe it. You know what would be interesting? If I had labeled all of my Tuesday posts from the last five years and you could just go read through those. Might be kind of depressing. It all started in college, you know. All of those looooooong Tuesday/Thursday classes. And every stinkin' lab was on a Tuesday. Oh, and any night class was guaranteed to be on a Tuesday. Then it transferred to teaching. In NC, it was always the day that I didn't have a special. Thank goodness when I moved to Texas, it was illegal for teachers not to have a conference period, but then guess what? Staff meetings were always on Tuesdays. Never failed.

Anyway, enough on the history of Tuesdays. My today was definitely a Tuesday and I'll just go there and then to bed. Piglet is sick. This is on top of my being sick with whatever-I-have. After a week of antibiotics, the only difference I see is that nothing is green anymore. Still snorting and snuffling. I digress....back to Piglet. He's sick and sad about it. This does not stop him from playing or tackling Pigpen or spreading his germs.

And the potty training....OH, the potty training. He's doing fairly well with the pee. He's in big boy underwear in the daytime and as long as I remind him, he's good to go. Every now and then he even tells me he needs to go, which is definite progress. The problem, of course, is poop. He doesn't like to poop in the potty yet. Soon, he says, but not yet. Today he actually pooped a big one (sorry for details) in the potty, so I thought he was all clear for the afternoon. Alas.

You must know that he pooped in his drawers, but I bet you didn't know that it was WHILE HE WAS RIDING HORSIE ON MY BACK. You read that right. Nasty to the nth degree. Foul. So I took him to pee and found the stealth poop all smeary smear on his potty and legs and, unfortunately, hand from taking down his pants.

I carried him to the bathroom, careful not to get poo on the carpet, and started to clean him up. Dumping the poo in the toilet, I shuddered at the nastiness and moved on. As I finally got Piglet cleaned up, I heard a splash. Then a giggle. And a squeal. There, happily ensconced in the toilet, splashing in his brother's filth was Pigpen. Are you shocked? A pig in mud. Almost literally.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" I shouted, scaring them both with my full body shudder. I snatched him up and began hazmat cleaning him as fast as I could. Gus meandered in. What are y'all up to? I could read in his eyes. He loves a good mess. But I'm still not speaking to him since yesterday's repeat raisin-eating incident which involved hydrogen peroxide and enough dog hair to make a new dog in my clean bathtub and two huge piles of foamy puke in my kitchen.

And that brings us to my bedtime. After meeting with Piglet's preschool teacher this evening who proclaimed herself "The Master Potty Trainer", I love her already. I relaxed when she said those words. One more week til school starts. If we can avoid the Swine Flu, we're good to go.

No comments: