Friday, March 07, 2008

Deep and Profound

As a loyal subscriber to Us Weekly and an avid pursuer of internet gossip and trash, I have to declare that I have had it with Spencer and Heidi. Do I watch The Hills? Yes, indeedy! It's excellently staged half-true smut, perfect for entertaining someone who will have baby brain forevermore (more on this affliction another day). But I cannot take anymore press coverage of these two idiots.

Even if you don't watch the Hills, I'm sure you have been subjected to seeing Heidi's mooning plastic face adorning many a magazine cover as they try in vain to drag out their fifteen minutes of fame.

He cheats! She takes him back! They're engaged! She's got trout pout! They split up! She wants kids! She got her boobs done! She's very religious! How about a nose job? She's naked in Maxim! They've shot a terrible video! He cheated again! Etc.

It might be one thing if they were the main characters in the TV show, but they are at best clinging to the sidelines of the show because of how much people like to hate them. It's so obviously fake and forged and cheesy. Gah! Her job isn't even real! And no one is going to look at these ridiculous pictures supposedly "caught" by the paparazzi of them on Valentine's Day and tell me these aren't staged.

I'm just really tired of seeing them. It appears that they really believe that people care and that they are celebrities. On Pigs' scale of celebrity importance, I'm going to place them just below Coral and Beth, the 40somethings who are still participating in the Real World/Road Rules Challenges. Below them.

I am aware that I am probably making the hoopla surrounding them worse by talking about it, but I had to say it. It turns my stomach every time I see her fake, sad, moony-eyed face lamenting the loser that is Spencer. Spencer Pratt, who is riding Heidi as far along the Hollywood path as she can take him while she clings desperately to the coattails of The Hills. Spencer looks like Jim Carrey in The Mask. Perhaps instead of buying Heidi scads of plastic surgery, he should look into getting himself a lip.

I believe I have spewed enough negative commentary upon two morons who really don't deserve the blog space, but it was kind of satisfying to put out there. Happy Friday!

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