Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-yore!

A couple weeks ago, Eddie came to visit me so we could go to the wedding of a friend in Dallas. We had many adventures and decided to write about them together and post on both blogs. Why? Because we're nerds like that. So hush up and read. Eddie's in blue.

Chapter 1: Pigs’ POV: Scary Hotels and Eeyore

As I sit here on a Friday night babysitting at a friend's house and watching Ice Princess on the Disney Channel, my mind wanders back to last weekend. Last weekend, Eddie came into town for a long-awaited wedding. We had been looking forward to this weekend for months, talking plans, making arrangements, planning shopping....at last it arrived. Before she even packed her suitcase, Eddie began to Eeyore. That is, to spin the negative on everything around her. It's a gift she possesses that is like none other.It goes a little something like this:

Me: You come in three days!!!

Eddie: The whole trip's gonna be over before we know it.

Etc. I think it would suit her to have one of those Debbie Downer Wah! Wah! horns at her side at all times. As usual, I digress. [Yeah yeah yeah. So I’m a glass-half-emtpy kinda girl.] Refocusing on the weekend. We got a downtown hotel and everything! We arrived, we valeted, and Eeyore put her luggage down on a bed. She peered out of our – very high – 23rd floor window and sighed. Here it came:

Eddie: Man, I hope we don’t get bombed.

Me: What?!

Eddie: It’s a tall building. There’s a Pegasus on top. Like something to aim at.

Me: Are you insane?

Eddie: Plus, look how high we are. We’d never get out. I bet the building would collapse. And even if we broke out a window, there’s no ledge to get on. We’d be dead.

One must plan for these calamities. Had we been bombed, I would have been mentally prepared, while Pigs would have panicked.

After settling into our room, we were of course immediately excited that we had plenty of time to locate some snack-y food before dinner. The hotel manual said there were vending machines on the 3rd and 25th floors, so Pigs decided to forage for food. She came back to the room way too soon to have found any grub.

Me: What, did you get lazy and change your mind?

Pigs: There was no button for 25 in the elevator, so I tried taking the stairs but they were too scary.

Me: You’ve gotta be kidding me. It’s only 2 floors further up. Wimp.

So we went to check out the stairs together. And you know what? They were scary.

All I’ve got to say is that it was scary! Skeery, really. Here’s how it really went down: I left the room with my key and my five dollars carefully tucked into my pocket and Eddie’s snack order in my mind. I walked to the elevators and pushed the up button, when I noticed two dweeby types staring at me. I stared back. They resumed their talk about the nuances of fine literature in the modern age. DING! My chariot had arrived. As I headed to the elevator, they hastened to follow me. “Going up?” I asked, making sure they knew I was headed up, not down, lest they get annoyed. One dweeb snickered loudly and said, “There’s only one more floor, I’m not sure that’s worth an elevator.” Shows what he knows. I had read the hotel manual and I knew that the snacks were on the 25th floor and I was on the 23rd floor, so there were clearly two more floors above us. I rolled my eyes and walked knowingly into the elevator where I poised my finger to press the 25 button, only….there wasn’t one. Of course, I couldn’t let them know that. I haughtily punched 24 and stared them down as the doors shut. Now, where was I headed? And where was this elusive 25th floor? Why would an elevator have a 24 and a 26, but no 25? Who stole 25? The doors opened to a rather ominous 24th floor. It didn’t look anything like our cozy 23rd floor. An awkward NO SMOKING sign hung rakishly in a random dirty window across from the elevators. The two doors that I could see had the creepy old-fashioned windows above the doors from the days before air conditioning. It felt like I had stepped back in time. It also felt haunted. Didn’t like it. Didn’t like it at all. I eased back toward my elevator to find that the door had shut and my carriage had left me. I glanced above the doors. Instead of the traditional up/down arrows to show you which direction the elevator is headed, this one had two eerie lamps, one above the other, illuminated with red bulbs. Creeporama. I decided to take the stairs. The hinges creaked as I pushed open the ancient metal door and peered into the stairwell. Whoa. NOT going in there. Rusty hundred year old metal stairs clung to the peeling walls. Nuh uh. I shut the door quickly, headed back to my elevator and punched the button impatiently until it fetched me. Did I mention that the elevators had a sort of disclaimer in them? Regarding the unusual speed and lurching of the aged machines? It tried to play them off as “quaint” but it didn’t work for me. I bolted out of that elevator and back to Eeyore as fast as lightning. Her response? “You should’ve taken your cell. I’m surprised you didn’t get locked in the stairwell.”

I would like to go on record as saying that Pigs is exaggerating my Eeyorosity just a little bit. Take it with a grain of salt.

Untrue. She's really that bad. I wish I had written down half the things she said. More of our exciting adventures to come...