I get a gold star!

It's been demonstrated numerous, countless, endless times on here that I am a genuine dork. An indisputable nerd. A goobersmooch, if you will. As a part of this condition with which I am afflicted, I love to make lists. Lists and charts. Lists, charts, and checklists. I'm getting all giddy just thinking about it.

A few weeks ago, I decided that Mr. Pigs and I needed some self-improvement. We had a few things to work on. His list was easy for me to create: pick up clothes, put away messes, take vitamins, all the little things that drive me crazy. Mr. Pigs is a very good sport and puts up with my little games, diligently checking off this checklist each night and reporting his progress. Through this checklist, Mr. Pigs has proven very successful at self-improvement. My dandy little chart has managed to create him a bona fide vitamin habit, cleared up a persistent foot fungus, and tidied up his counterspace. Win, win, win!

It was harder to create my own chart, because I am already practically perfect in every way. So, after a great deal of study and thought, research and analysis I came up with two key areas of improvement: oral hygiene and my abs. When pregnant, I fell out of the habit of regular flossing because of the whole bleeding gums issue. Now I have no excuse, so my first 3 items were: two minute Sonicare brush, floss, and Listerine. I did fabulously my first month. Also on the first month were my ab exercises: planks, exercise ball sit ups, bicycle sit ups, and some sort of leg lift thingies. Again, I did a great job with my chart.

So that brings us to this month's Brand New Chart. I've added some things, but have some questions. Despite my heroic efforts with the ab exercises, I have failed to rid myself of the thin layer of fat which remains on top of my nicely toned abs leftover from Piglet's stretchy habitation of my abdominal region. It's not really noticeable to anyone but me, but it's not firm like I want. Word on the street is that you have to cut calories and burn it off to make it go away, something I'm not supposed to do until I'm done nursing. SO. That brings us to the new chart.

I've added 20-30 minutes of cardio at least three times a week and 2 or less junk foods a day. This addition brings about my questions as I immediately try to find ways around my own rules. Here are my questions. And I trust your judgment.

1. Regarding junk foods: Does beer or wine count as a junk food? Would something somewhat unhealthy for a meal, like a spinach calzone that I know is high fat count as junk food even though it was my meal? What about Sonic? If I get a grilled cheese kids' meal, how many junk foods is that? Grilled cheese, tots, and a Coke.....3? 2? Help!

2. Regarding cardio: If I play tennis for an hour and a half, does that count as all of my cardio, or just one? My gut says just one, but I have to ask.

3. If I get all my checks for a week and earn a gold star, what should I get?

4. On a scale of one to ten, one being clever, organized, and together, and ten being total dorkarama, just how much of a geek does my chart make me?