Efficiency and Productivity

So, I've been working my six hour "joblet" for about a month now. That means I've been about eight times, three hours each time. It's a shame that I have yet to be officially approved to work with children by this incompetent district. I'm really shocked that things have moved so slowly when you consider just how incredibly organized they are: [see below]

August 27: Former [insane] principal attends my baby shower only to ask me to tutor in writing. I agree.

December 5: Hear from 4th grade that they want me to start in January.

December 6: Email principal to inquire what I need to do with the district to start working.

January 5: Send email from Dec. 6 again, as never received response.

January 6: Principal directs me to HR person, Sidney. Agrees to my January 16 start date. I promptly call and leave message regarding tutoring for district.

January 7: Receive call from Central Office. Although I worked there for three years and just resigned in May, they are unable to find me in the system. I will need to start over and fill out an online application. This will take at least an hour and I will need transcripts and references. I am aghast. Picture my aghast face here: __________

Later January 7: Go to fill out online application only to be told by internet genius that one already exists and I can access it with my password. The one from four years ago when I filled it out. Clearly, I am in the system.

Still later January 7: Listen to message again. Realize she has addressed me as (Pigleigh), a common formal name for my nickname, Pigs. My name actually comes from the more formal (Pigslina). No wonder they couldn't find me. Heaven forbid they actually ask me how to spell my name. Leave annoyed message with HR Sidney with spelling of my name and explanation of existing online application from 2003.

January 8: Nothing

January 9: Nothing

January 10: I call again. Confused people give me my password. I re-fill out (long) application, updating last four years and resubmit.

January 16: I begin working as a tutor/teacher six hours a week.

January 26: Sidney calls me to tell me I have been cleared by my criminal background check and may now begin working with kids (?!). She needs me to come down and fill out paperwork and come to a half day, unpaid substitute teacher training. I explain that I am not going to be substitute teaching, therefore I will not be attending said substitute teacher training. She asks me why, then, did I fill out the online application? I try not to squeeze the phone into tiny little pieces. She tells me to come in Monday morning and fill out paperwork (unpaid).

January 29: I arrive at agreed upon time and am kept waiting for 15 minutes. I have Piglet in tow, and he is on the verge of eruption. At last, Sidney arrives with vast amounts of paperwork. I fill out enough paperwork to procure a mortgage on a new home, agree not to sexually harass anyone, and acknowledge the district's inane lockdown procedures. Despite the fact that I "did not exist in their system" they were somehow able to unearth some godforsaken digital image of me from three years ago for my badge. Go home.

January 30: Work fifth day (13th-15th hours)

January 31: Cell phone rings. It's Sidney. She forgot to have me fill out an I-9 form, can I come back by Central Office? I say no. She says she will send to school for me to do. I agree.

February 1: Sixth work day (16th-18th hours) Fill out I-9 form. Secretary sends through school courier to my buddy Sid.

February 5: Cell phone rings. It's Sid. She's lost the I-9 that I filled out, could I do another? She'll send to school, no worries.

February 6: Fill out form again. Am getting good at I-9 form. Return to Sid-Sid. Later that afternoon, she calls. She forgot.....she needs to see my license with that form. I'm going to need to "swing" by central office before school on Thursday. Thanks!

February 8: Leaving Piglet at babysitter for extra half hour I "swing" by Central Office to be told that Sidney is in a meeting. Secretary calls her. She will be out in three minutes! Fifteen minutes later, I am going to have to leave to get to the 20 kids waiting for me to teach them on time. I explain to secretary, trying not to be mad at her. She photocopies my license. I seethe to work. (Day 8, hours 22-24)

February 9: Sidney's boss calls me. She wants to know where my I-9 form is. I take deep breaths. I recount the entire saga of I-9ness. I do not hide my frustration or my belittlement of Sidney. She tells me I'm going to need to "swing" by and bring my license and my Social Security card. (?! Sidney had never even mentioned the SS card! That would've been another trip.) I told her that it had already been copied and begged her to let someone at school do it so I didn't have to make another trip. Poormouthed about already paying babysitter for time. She said she would see what she could do.

February 13: Today. Went to work (Day 9 of 10, hours 25-27 of 30) No word from Central Office, no sign of any monetary compensation of my time and effort, nothing. I have one more day of work left. Maybe by then I'll be in the system and approved for work. It's a darn good thing I'm enjoying what I'm doing, that's all I can say.