Monday, February 05, 2007

Circular Ending

6:07am: Piglet awakens, "WAAHHHHHHHHH!"

6:10am: Change, medicate with Antibarf 2000™, and feed Piglet.

6:30am: Return Piglet to crib. Piglet stares wide-eyed at me with large, gummy grin.

6:31am: Return self to bed.

6:31-7:27am: Listen to Piglet squeal and laugh at the mobile animals instead of sleeping.

7:28am: Sleep

8:07am: Go get Piglet up.

8:08am: Stare in dismay at smiling, squirming Piglet covered in spit up. There is spit up on sleep positioner, spit up all over sheets, and [roll over and check] yes. There is crusty spit up in the mullet. Pick Piglet up.

8:09am: Piglet spits up all over my shoulder. Tuck a cloth diaper into shirt and go on.

8:10am: Change Piglet out of wet pajamas.

8:11am: Piglet spits up on new bib and outfit. Shrug [wet] shoulder and go on.

8:12am: Feed Piglet again since he lost most of last feeding*.

8:25am: Change shirt.

8:30am: Lay Piglet on floor to play and begin exhaustive task of changing sheets. Spit up has managed to dodge all of the between sheet protective lap pads I placed, thereby soaking 3 layers of sheets.

8:40am: Piglet spits up on blanket.

8:41am: Run bath and strip baby naked [nekkid?] En route to bath, Piglet spits up on shoulder of fresh shirt and into my hair. Again stuff with cloth diaper and move on.

8:42am: Sitting on my lap, waiting for bath to fill, Piglet yaks on my jeans. Sigh.

8:43am: Piglet pukes in bath water. Milk baths are supposed to be good for skin. Bygones.

9:00am: A newly dressed and clean Piglet manages to act normal and not barf while I get ready for day, clean up house and start excessive amount of puke-filled laundry.

9:50am: Prepare Piglet for nap. Rocking and reading.....Gus spots individual with audacity to walk on our sidewalk and BARKS! and scares the sweet begeezus out of Piglet. Piglet wails, turning mouth inside out with fear. Beat and chastise Gus severely.

10:00am: Piglet goes down for nap after great amounts of soothing. I race to kitchen to prepare breakfast.

10:05am: While rushing to get a fork, one somehow lifts itself from normal resting place in drawer and manages to stab own prongs into wood above drawer. Fork is stuck. Drawer is stuck. I'm hungry. Leave drawer challenge for later.

10:06am: Stare at empty juice pitcher in refrigerator. Curse husband for finishing accidentally purchased psuedo-orange juice-like beverage containing 1% orange juice. Attempt to scrub cancer-colored orange remnants from pitcher before giving up and making lemonade right on top of cancerous sludge.

10:10 Declare self best short order cook in town:


10:11am: Sit down to eat. Construction worker sized appetite must be sated.

10:12am: Two squirrels play tag in yard. Gus detects an imminent threat to our well-being. Hurls self into back windows with tumultuously loud BARK! Abandon culinary wonder and race through house at warp speed to tackle Gus at windows. Beat, chastise, and muzzle the beast only to hear...


*Do not be alarmed by vast amounts of spitting up. Piglet is fine, but goes through days where reflux is more active than other. Do not worry or panic. Situation is medically under control and only remains as a laundry problem.

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