Have your cake and eat it too.

Argh. I have been a terrible blogger lately. The laundry monster has taken over my life. And the nap monster - naps have become more important in my free time somehow. Who knew? I will be done with this bridal shower after Saturday and that will be a load off. I went Sunday to try to buy my cake. I made the mistake of going to Kroger. It went a little something like this:

Walked up to counter. Stood for many minutes trying to be painfully obvious that I wanted to purchase a cake by looking through the binder of their cakes choices. Apparently, there were many choices for kids' cakes, and one wedding-ish cake. It was ugly. Surely they could do more than that. I cleared my throat politely for the third time before a woman looked up, sighed and shuffled my way. I sensed trouble when I took in her hairnet and her 80's glasses with the sides that scoop down and back up. I realize I judge people by their appearances, but you know what? I'm often right.

Hairnet: [Stares at me from behind large glasses. One eye looked at me, the other looked eastward]

Me: Hi! I'd like to order a cake for a bridal shower please.

Hairnet: {more staring]

Me: Um, what do I need to do?

Hairnet: When's it for?

Me: Saturday

Hairnet: You can either order it now or wait a few days.

Me: [um. duh....] Today would be great, thanks.

Hairnet: I need size, flavor, and icing type.

Me: Um....can we talk about what it will look like? All I can find it this picture.

Hairnet: That's the one we make.

Me: Can I make some adjustments?

Hairnet: [Obviously exasperated with me calls over the woman in charge. She doesn't speak English.]

Non-English Speaker: You wah cack?

Me: Yes, can you make bells with icing?

NES: We got bells! [waves cheapo plastic bells with gold sparkles at me]

Me: Um, nevermind. [slink away]

Why is it so hard to have a bakery in a grocery store that makes cake to order? If they can make all those stupid soccer ball, Barney, Barbie cakes, surely they could whip up some bells. But, no, no. Pbbbbt. And there are apparently not any bakeries left in my town. I called one number only to get an NES man on the line who just yelled "No cake!!" into the phone. I guess he got the bakery's old number. Poor guy.

Now I've contacted an old parent (not an old parent, a former parent from school) who bakes cakes professionally to see if she can whip one up for me by Saturday. Fingers crossed.