Thursday, September 07, 2006

News and Such

I haven't been writing much of late. I don't feel like I've had enough going on of interest to bore you with it, but if you insist on reading, then read on.

I guess the big news this week is that we had Piglet's 36 week sonogram and had my suspicions confirmed: he's a tank. The thing is that I'm really not very large, so people haven't felt very sorry for me when I am decked in the side, ribs, bladder or stomach with some rather vicious and somewhat violent motions. My guess is that not only is he ginormous, but he doesn't have a lot of space in which to be ginormous. So he's squashed. He's a squashed, large, active fetus. Pre-birth sonograms are not known for their accuracy and can be plus or minus a pound or so, but before the sonographer did the measurements, she goes, "Whoa. This is a big baby." I thanked her politely and continued to tolerate the blue slime being smeared around my belly. Piglet disrupted the picture no less than 4 times as he kicked her little instrument around roughly. Based on her measurements, she estimated his current weight to be almost 8 pounds. This would be more than my personal birth weight, but the husband was a ten pound tank himself.

Today I journeyed to my least favorite store on earth, Babies R' Us to spend some gift cards and get some finishing touches from the 'ol registry. I detest Babies R Us. I hate their customer service, I hate the lack of organization, and I really hate the way every where you look in there, something has a nipple on it. Nipples, nipples, everywhere. (Guess what kind of hits I'm going to get from that statement?) I just really don't like going there.

I particularly don't like going there when I have outgrown my maternity shirts and refuse to buy new ones. REFUSE. I'm not even that big compared to other people who are 36 weeks pregnant. I don't understand what people do. Is this how housecoats were invented?? Forget it. So I walked around the store with not only my 3 inch elastic sexy shorts waistband showing, but a good 2-3 inches of [very gleaming white] belly hanging out. I'm a real looker right now.


Sha-ZAM!


Now for the best part: I got to buy a rectal thermometer today. It was by far the highlight of my day. You would be amazed to know just how much variety exists in the rectal thermometer market. I had no idea! Short probe, long probe, flexible probe....thumb grip, warmed tip, ten second/twenty second readings, nightlight. The choices were endless! You could buy slipcovers, rectal thermometer lube, disposable....you name it. Combine that with my immature case of giggles I dissolved into and I think the sales people were ready to see me go. I'm sorry, but rectal thermometers are funny.

So, as I mentioned, not a lot going on in my world. The nursery's ready, the laundry is done, I've been freezing meals to eat later...that's about all I got! Just need to finish up those pesky thank you notes.

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