Efwasp the Aqua Bandit

While I realize that you must be growing tired of my persistent rambling about all things pool, this one borders along my teaching nerve. First of all, I am very cognizant of the fact that when I go to the pool, I cannot expect to not be splashed by water. Pools are for kids too and they are splashy beings. I don't mind the splashing. Sometimes it cools my skin at just the right spot where the sun is eating away my fleshy goodness. However.

I draw the line at the kid who we shall call EvilFreakWithASlackParent. (Efwasp) My friend and I were lying peacefully on The Rafts Of Glory, kind of away from all the action. We are always careful to choose a quiet corner or side area where we won't be in the way of the kids' games and things. There we floated, happily engaged in adult conversation when Efwasp arrives at the pool. Efwasp immediately runs away from his mom and races poolside to fill his SuperSoaker water gun. He then visually assesses the pool crowd and selects his target. A friend from school, you might think? No. He selects us.

Under his mother's watchful eye, he then laughs a crazy, maniacal laugh all the way to our corner. The whole time, we are certain he's not coming over to us...surely not, right? He comes. He aims the gun directly at us, straight up gangsta, and fires the entire barrel of water all over us. Total strangers. Adults. Innocent adults floating in the pool. Efwasp cackles evilly to himself, then proceeds to do this three more times until he loses interest since we're not reacting. His mother? Nothing. Reading a magazine.