Sunday, May 28, 2006

Happy Summer

I have a cold. It's like some strange parting gift from my little pumpkins. I have a nasty cold. It's ironic that the first few days I am able to theoretically catch up on sleep, I can't sleep. You know why? Because I have a cold. I detest not being able to breathe. I detest that I have these little indigestion bubbles in my esophogus from Piglet somehow that, when I cough? Rise and burst forth like loud vurps waiting to explode. I hate that when I cough or sneeze, I pee on myself because Piglet is nestled so lovingly upon my bladder, his own personal pillow. I am really a pretty foul person to be around right now. Fortunately, most of my friends are out of town.

We are dog sitting this weekend for two schnauzers who are very sweet, normal dogs. You would think this would be good for Gus, except that he doesn't actually realize that he's a dog too. He has honed his withering glare this weekend and bestows it upon whichever dog has the audacity to try to play with him or - heaven forbid - smell his rear exit. Poor Laney has been clocked in the head repeatedly by Gus' tail. Only Gus is allowed to sit on the furniture. The underlings must rest on the floor. No one has told them they can't sit on the furniture, it just seems to be an unspoken agreement betwixt the dogs.

It seems also that my parenting skills need some work. Gus has NO manners whatsoever. He has to go first and always wants his way.

Did I mention that my class got me a fish for my birthday? I have a fish theme in my room and my kids really ran with it this year, culminating in the presentation of a live betta fish. I'm not really into fish. I like to decorate with them because I harbor a secret hope that I will someday own a fabulous beach house in NC. We call it my imaginary beach house. Anyway, back to fish. I also enjoy eating a good fish. Decorating and eating, yes. Owning as a pet? Not so much. I had these two fish when I was in 3rd grade, Tutti and Frutti? I won them by throwing a ping pong ball into their bowl. Their very small bowl. Their very small bowl that I never cleaned. Those were the toughest gold fish around. They could schlep through sludge and wipe their faces on the side of the bowl to make a little patch to see out. Yeah. So, here I am with this fish and a very excited class and my only goal was that it live through the school year so I didn't have to buy a replacement. I named him Darryl. As in Larry, Darryl and Darryl. (Darrell?) It seems that fish don't like to be photographed.

There's a lot of animals in this house this weekend. Did I mention that I don't feel well? Whine...

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