Monday, October 03, 2005

Big Toe vs. The Sink & Co.

I am a woman of few talents. It has come to my attention that my latest injury may limit me in one of my better known and oft-used talents. There are many things in life at which I am inept: walking without running into things, doing cartwheels, being quiet for any length of time. There are few things in life at which I am, er...ept? Able. Proficient. Competent. One of them being my gorilla-like ability to grasp anything with my toes.
It seems that The Incident With the Sink may have somehow restricted my aptitude for toe fingering. My whole life I have been able to grab anything with my feet: quarters, trash on the floor, pencils, the name it! My toes can pinch someone's arm and twist the skin into a nasty Indian burn or they can grab the dog's tail and hold him in place. My toes are my second set of fingers. I could probably climb a tree like a monkey, but I've never tried due to my high propensity for calamities.
Now? Now? Nothing. My right big toe still works just fine, but no matter how hard I concentrate, cajole, and convince, my left big toe simply will not budge. It just lays there, stitched and forlorn, motionless. It wants to move, I can feel it; it's just not able. I suspect my toe was very disappointed today to learn from the doctor that it must remain stitched until Friday. It seems that the cut is still "too gaping" to remove the sutures just yet; that it might "open back up." My left big toe may be suffering from some form of depression. I'm trying to cheer it up by letting it breathe fresh air around the house. If only I could allow it a shoe, I'm sure all would be better.
If my big toe was a lawsuit, how much pain and suffering do you think it would deserve? Think of its full and active lifestyle before The Sink...and think of it now. It's a changed toe. A toe with nothing to live for. A toe that needs your help. Think about it.

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