#473

Umphh.....[Pigs lifts self off of keyboard]. We went on a field trip today. I'm so tired that I can't feel my face.

Why are field trips like that? I don't understand - aside from riding on a school bus and keeping track of 40 of your dearest friends for 6 hours in public and walking all over creation and not eating very much and managing 5-10 adults who are supposed to managing your students, but aren't....it's not that much different from an ordinary day!

Let's focus on the adults. Now, I once had a dad on a field trip to the coast of NC who placed a silk black out mask over his eyes and ear plugs in his ears for the entire 4 hour bus ride to the beach. Upon arrival to the Wright Brothers Memorial, he then took his group to the top of the hill and ran them in circles away from the bus as we tried to get them back on to leave for the next stop. I've seen bad parents on field trips. Never quite so rude or insane as one I met today, but bad nonetheless.

It was reported to me that there was some upheaval among some parents in one class who were upset that their lunchtime hadn't yet arrived on our schedule. Their kids were hungry. I calmly and politely walked over to a woman who has sent me accusatory and berating emails all year because her child talks incessantly [my fault] and gets no work done [also my fault] Though she has no problem with insulting a teacher via email, she had never actually met me in person. I politely and kindly told her that I had no problem if she wanted to go ahead and take her group to lunch at her leisure, that it wouldn't affect the schedule at all. As I did this, 3 or 4 kids from the class began to shroud me in hugs and greetings as though they hadn't seen me in days and days. I casually returned the hugs as I spoke kindly to her. It was then that I became surprised.

"Who ARE you?! Are you even a TEACHER?" she practically spat into my face, glaring at me as though I were dog poop on her shoe.

I froze in disbelief. Was she serious? Why so hateful? She didn't even know who I was! I carefully cleared my throat and smiled. Finally, my moment.

"I'm Mrs. I'm your child's language arts teacher." Big smile.

Oh, if I could freeze one moment in time, that moment might be it! The moment when the Mean, Freaky, Insane Parent got hers. Mwah-ah-ah! Ah, the satisfaction.

She mumbled something about not having ever met me in person and slunk away with her group, presumably to eat lunch. What a freak show. And why would you ever speak to someone like that? It blows my mind. I'll add it as #473 on my list of Things Not To Do When I Am a Parent:

473.) Don't insult or offend the person who spends 3-6 hours a day with your offspring.