Saturday, April 02, 2005

The Conspiracy

How's this for unfortunate? I have neck problems...this problem has been covered at length and then some on this blog. I also have chronic allergy problems which regularly result in the loss of my voice. However. The two have now gotten together in some kind of bizarre game of chase and are causing one another. I think it went like this:

Cough: Okay, I'll trigger some general itchiness and get her going real good!
Neck: Yeah! Then I'll take the brunt of the cough stress. You know she coughs like she's trying to project a lung!
Cough: Yeah! Then...then when she least expects it, why don't you just freak out!
Neck: Yeah, man. That's great. I'll go total spasm on her, then when she has to dice!
Cough: Then I can finally get that vacation I deserve!
Neck and Cough: Heh, heh, heh....

Or something like that. My three weeks of coughing have put strain on my neck. When I sat up today - sat up! All I did was sit up! - my neck muscles launched into spasm. I just sat up! And now I can't move my head. And I can't cough because it hurts my neck. So here I sit, holding in my coughs and trying not to move my head.
I can never have a nice, normal injury. I hate explaining to people how I hurt myself. It's so humiliating. "Yeah, well, I was laying on the couch you know? Then I sat up." Lame.

No comments: