Thursday, March 03, 2005

Non-Critical Clinginess

I am aware this post is about to illustrate just how weird my mind is, but it's interesting to me. I am troubed by leaving things behind. Inanimate, meaningless things. I feel terrible when I give away a bag of belongings to Goodwill. Mainly because I don't know what kind of homes they are going to.
I feel terrible that my childhood security stuffed animal, Pooh Bear, has been sitting on a shelf high in my closet since we moved here two and a half years ago. On top of a hunting rifle. In the dark. I finally put another old Pooh Beah up there with him so that he has company.
The other day I was trying on clothes and I noticed a string hanging on my jeans, so I snapped it off and dropped it on the floor. And then wondered if it was going to be lonely there in that dressing room. Or if it would be scared when the vacuum sucked it up later.
Once, when I was in fifth grade, I had a hangnail in church and peeled it off and dropped it on the floor. I was verklempt for the rest of the day over that fingernail. When a pen runs out of ink, I hate to throw it away. I kept all of my baby teeth in a TicTac box in my room. When my beach chair finally collapsed with rust on the beach last summer, it made me sad to leave it beside the trash can at the public access. That chair and I had a lot of good times.
I think I have a problem. Other than this issue, I am a fairly normal person. Really, I am.

9 comments:

seeingdouble said...

Ok, I don't feel it to the same lengths, but I find myself wondering silly things like that. Like if there are a couple random pieces of cereal in the bottom of the bag, I feel bad throwing them away, like they aren't special enough to eat. I already knew I was weird, but at least I'm not the only one!

Eddie said...

Maybe I should just call you Howard Hughes (The Aviator)? ;)

Philosophy Girl said...

We all have quirks to our personalities. It is part of what makes us human. With all the things we have to do and remember it is inevitable that our feelings and emotions would seek outlets of expression. Most people in the working world are tied up so tight, that to paraphrase Ferris Bueller, "if you stuck a lump of coal up their butts in a few weeks you'd have a diamond". Take Care

callieischatty said...

I always feel a pang at that as well.
Sigh.

bopperholly said...

I use to sleep with all like 50 of my stuffed toys because I didn't want anyone to feel lieft out of that I had a favorite....I swear I dont do that anymore...I swear.

Mad Hatter said...

do you have ocd? because i do. and i have the same freaking problems. i have art projects from when i was like ten. they're hideous. but i can't throw them away. i heard this clinginess is correlated to ocd but i don't know. i never took the time to find out

katielady said...

Yep, you are a freak.

Mr. Practical said...

That reminds me - next time you're home you REALLY need to clean out your closet! Then we can work on all your stuff in the attic!

Anonymous said...

I cried for 3 days when I had to trade in my last car. I had it longer and enjoyed it more than I did my ex-husband. And I can't bear to get rid of a huge stuffed bear my son gave me years ago. Glad to know I'm not alone.