Some things overheard at school today...
- "Mrs. R! Josh licked Lisa!"
- "I went to Dallas this weekend. My parents made me go see some boy band from the 80's. Maybe you know them? I can't remember their name. Something about Hungry Like the Wolf? I don't know, it was boring. I thought it'd be like N'Sync."
- [When discussing where a character in a book has disappeared to] "Hey! Maybe he's having an affair with that chick from the beginning!"
- Girl belches 4 times in a row with me sitting directly beside her. Me: "Dude! Stop!" Belchnastytastic: "I'm not a dude." Me:"Well, you sure sound like one!" Yes, yes, I'll probably be sued tomorrow.
- Superfluously Hormoned One displays dazzling bauble on hand, a new ring from grandad (just got out of prison, yeah!). Me: "[gasp] How beautiful!" SHO: "I got it at WalMart." Umkay.
- After school, I attended my mandatory, but I don't get paid for, student support team meeting. [Please read this article, I WISH my district would do this. I'd love to see that place fall apart.] I love this meeting because we openly discuss all the freakshows in our school and try to decide how to fix them. Today we had a mom tell us that last Tuesday was the most cruel thing we could have done to her son: making him take that writing test was unforgiveable. He has trouble in writing and she has asked for help since September! Well, we couldn't go forward with his testing as the child needed glasses and she "forgot" to take him. But it's unforgiveable. Of course.
- Kids in counseling class. Reviewing daily habits. Question: What do you do before you go to bed at night to make sure you're ready for school the next day? Answer from Exhibit A: [spoken in rhythm aligned with excessive pelvic thrusting] I Like To! Dream About! GIRLS!
- That's really enough for today. Do you really think I could top that one?