Brain Poisoning and Kidnapping.

"Mrs. R? When I push a pencil point into my head? Like this? I can feel pressure." [creepy spacy grin, pencil poked into forehead.]
"Okay, don't do that sweetie, you might pop your brain."
"Oh, okay. Mrs. R? If you kidnapped me, my parents would sue you." [creepy grin + mouth hanging open waiting for my reaction to this new!, critical, riveting news]
"Okay, I'll try not to then. Can you explain to me which of our strategies you used on this homework assignment on which you earned a 17%?"
(Blank stare. Clearly does not recognize assignment. Lead damage has possibly already reached brain.]
"Did you do this assignment? Is this your name?" I jabbed my finger aggressively at his name clearly written at top of paper.
(Studies signature closely. Confirms that it is, in fact, his name. Progress. He can recognize his name.)
"I don't have a green pen though." Forget the learning opportunity. Brainchild has no green pen. Heavens. Beam me up.
"Honey, take the pencil out of your forehead and use that one." [A flicker of recognition in his eyes! Pencil? Do work? Are we....are we...close? I crossed my fingers and held my breath. Come on! Have I connected?] I stared intently, hoping for a breakthrough. My eyes searched his hopefully.
"Hey...Mrs. R? When I push a pencil point into my head? Like this? I can feel the pressure." [Creepy grin]
Guess which kid this was today? He has fine moments almost every day...