Saturday, November 06, 2004

Jobs

Jobs I Don't Want:
  • tollbooth operator
  • septic tank emptier
  • pet anal gland squeezer
  • dental hygienist (teeth give me the willies)
  • port-a-john cleaner
  • ride safety tester at traveling fairs
  • one of the idiots who works for our HOA
  • freezer stocker at the grocery store who wears gloves even in summer
  • school janitor with the orange puke powder
  • school bus driver
Jobs I Do Want:
  • the photographer that rides on the machines that go up and down the football field during a game
  • fire truck driver
  • DJ in charge of 80's music and lights at a skating rink
  • the little old lady who reads books to children at the library
  • the old, old, old wrinkled up, but nicely tanned prune lady with white hair, a sun hat, and deeply creased crinkly cleavage who walks on the beach at sunrise picking up all the "good" shells. Then she goes back to her beach house and drinks Coke and eats Nabs on the porch.
  • the person who decides which "new" words go in the dictionary

5 comments:

Eddie said...

Lookee here! I'm commenting on your blog entry that I read. I think I would also not want to be a roadkill-picker-upper.

katielady said...

I'm going to add traffic counter to job's I don't want. Also an MTA (Metro Transporation Authority) employee working in the booth in the subway.

I would love to have the job of mom. Looking forward to it. Joel wants to be the bull pen catcher for the Kansas City Royals. Don't ask why the Royals, as he's a Houston fan.

Eddie said...

Oh! And another job I would like is to pick the names of new paint colors and new crayons. Kbye.

Dex said...

Job to have: <huge pause> ... umm what's high paying and low stress? Besides Trust Fund Baby? I'd like to have a one-hit wonder, or some accidental celebrity (Jared, William Hung) that I could parlay into being semi-retired. That'd be cool. Maybe patent something and live off the license fees.

Job to not have: Mortician. That's a no brainer.

Anonymous said...

A job not to have would be driving a truck filled with cows, pigs or chickens on their way to being slaughtered. Or worse....the person who has to CLEAN these trucks after unloading.