Wednesday, May 20, 2009


So, there I was, just eating my lunch with Pigpen. A delicious taco salad straight from Pigs' kitchen, if you're so interested. And then my tooth fell out.

Okay, so not my whole tooth, just a significant chunk of my front tooth that had had a bonding applied to it in, oh....1990. That dentist was so confident in his work that he guaranteed the thing to hold for five years. Well, 19 years later, the darned thing fell off and I am pretty sure that I ate his work because it wasn't to be found anywhere.

This of course left me with a gap toothed look. Today I went to the dentist to get my toof fixed. While waiting in the lobby, I eavesdropped on two decrepit old ladies filling out the paperwork, one for the other. She staged whispered each question slowly to her friend and I tried hard not to laugh.

[old lady gravelly voice] "Are you pregnant?"

She peers up at her friend from her hunch over the clipboard, pen poised above the check box.

[long pause] "Yes."

[I disguise my laughter as a cough and try not to choke.]

"Are you nursing?" She peers at her friend again, pen poised.

"No." She speaks her words slowly and carefully, as though much thought went into each one.

"Are you on birth control?"

Finally, the woman has the capacity to laugh. And I giggled to keep her company. Old people are so funny. Oh, and I got my tooth put back on and I look much fancier now. was Day 4 of the Quiet Time Experiment. It was also the last day of preschool which involved a bouncehouse. After 20 minutes of quiet playtime he calmly passed out in his bed and had to be awakened at 4pm. What does this prove? I have no idea. You tell me.

In other funny people watching news, yesterday I went to the movie theater to buy gift cards for Piglet's teachers and had to stifle the laughter again. The teenager in line behind me went to the window to purchase her ticket. "That will be eight dollars," said the cashier. The teenager looked confused and gestured at a sign. "Isn't it supposed to be six dollars?" I super casually leaned over to read the sign: TUESDAY SENIORS $6. I bit my tongue, I really did, but I know she and the elderly couple behind her heard my snickers as the cashier had to tell her gently that the sign meant those over 60, not idiotic high school seniors. It must be hard to go through life stupid.

That about covers all the witty anecdotes I can recall from the last two days. I would like to point out that I have been diligently doing my part in resuming posting and my dear readers out there got awfully excited that first day and then jumped off the bandwagon. THESE ARE WITTY ANECDOTES, PEOPLE! Where are you?

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