Massive Head Wound Harry

Something about rain just makes my days worse. I wish I could look on the bright side and find fun things about rain, and I even tried to make that happen today, but alas. It's only 2:00 and we've got a double head wound, a broken lamp, and a lot of puke. I'm soothing my soul with a grilled cheese and a bowl of tomato soup. Comfort food anyone?

This morning really began at midnight. For some reason, likely hormonal since Pigpen dropped a big feeding, I have developed bedtime insomnia. I can be sleepy all day long and into the evening, but as soon as I get in bed my heart starts racing and I can't sleep. So the last few nights I've taken Benadryl to help get through this weird sleep patch. Around midnight, the drugs finally began to make me feel sleepy when I heard it: the hacking cough of a child in distress. It was of course Piglet and his asthmatic self. I had forgotten his inhalers before bedtime. I ignored it for as long as possible until the guilt kicked in, then went to administer the meds. They didn't work. He continued to cough until closer to one. I'm now bleary from Benadryl and sent Mr. Pigs upstairs to give him water and honey. He obliged and the coughing stopped.

I slept until 6:15 when Pigpen decided it was time to start his day. Now, most days, he wakes up around the time Mr. Pigs leaves and cries for a bit then goes back to sleep. This morning, he cried for an HOUR and didn't do any such thing. I went to get him, fed him in my bed and Voila! he goes to sleep in my bed. Snoring like a buzzsaw. I will never understand how people sleep with their children in the bed. Theirs must not be as noisy as mine.

Then of course Piglet wakes up."MOMMY! Piglet wants Mommy riiiiiiiiiight NOOOOWWWWWW!" Good morning, sunshine. I roused the helicopter that was churning in my bed and dragged him upstairs for morning poop changes. Nothing really starts a day as well as two goopy sat-upon poop diapers. Retch. "Piglet has poop, mommy! Change Piglet's diaper right now!" Right now is a very big thing in our house currently. I tried not to gag as I got everyone a clean bottom.

Breakfast lasted for-freaking-ever as Pigpen gnawed his way through a bowl of oatmeal, a banana, some Cheerios, and a piece of toast. Oh, and juice. He's in the 1st percentile in weight (16 pounds at 9 months), so if anyone has any suggestions for high calorie foods, I'll take them. He eats at least that much at every meal and only has 6 teeth. Piglet of course wanted down "right now" as soon as his second bowl of cereal disappeared. I ate coffee and vitamins and whatever scraps I could wrestle away from Pigpen.

Pigpen and his bloated belly went down for nap while I went to take a shower. Piglet wanted to watch Bob the Builder for the 374th time which he did for about 5 minutes. Then he decided to plug in the vacuum, turn off the power strip to my alarm clock, and pull all of the parts of my breast pump out of the bag. He placed one of the cups over his mouth and yelled, “Mask! Piglet has a mask!” He then pretended it was a tuba and made tuba sounds for the remainder of my shower. I somehow got ready for the day. Well, I pulled on sweatpants and brushed my teeth. That’s really all I can hope for on a day like today.

We threw in a load of laundry and included Piglet’s froggy which stunk to high heaven from him gnawing on its arms when he was teething his molars. REEKED. I convinced him that Froggy wanted to go swimming in the washing machine and tossed him in. Piglet then decided to swim himself….on my couch. He swam his arms and kicked his legs and WOOSH! My lamp fell off the table and crashed to the floor. It no longer works.

We somehow survived the morning, Pigpen puking everytime Piglet squeezed his stomach, Gus racing around frantically trying to lick up all the puke off the floor and the baby. At last, Gus wanted to go outside (in the pouring rain) to dig a large hole in a pile of wet leaves for half an hour or so. The boys ate lunch (crackers with butter, a jar of peas, 4 peach slices, and half a stick of string cheese for Pigpen, topped off with 2 spoonfuls of sweetened condensed milk, in case you’re tracking his eating habits) and I ate a yogurt to get me through.

Piglet went to bed. He still refuses to nap in his bed, so the rule is that when he gets out of bed he goes into the cave. Please don’t report me to CPS, it’s perfectly safe and warm, just barren of fun. Instead of getting out of his bed today, he decided to romp around on his bed and of course fall and bashed his head onto the headboard. He managed to get not one, but two, giant goose eggs on his forehead which required ice and kisses. Then to the cave. Pigpen puked on the steps on his way up to bed, then fell instantly to sleep….my good baby. My happy puker. Piglet at last fell asleep when of course the dog began to howl incessantly in the rain-soaked yard.

I came downstairs to find Gus drenched and desperately scratching his muddy paws on the back door. He required everything but a full bath to be allowed in the house. I dashed out in the rain to bring in the trash cans to find my newspaper had washed down the street and my recycle can contained about 3 inches of water that I couldn’t empty. Awesome. And that brings us to now.

You’d think it was Tuesday or something.