Mensicle Monday #1

This post is the beginning of a new series over at the Eddie Speaks Whale blog. I have kept a strange a list of everything that’s wrong with the guys she's dated. We have decided to dissect her decisions. So, every Monday I will guest post about a boy she dated on her blog. We’ll go in chronological order (leaving out the ones that weren’t around long enough to warrant a post). Because my part is kind of negative, Eddie will try to add some positive things that she learned from each guy. At least for the beginning I'll post it on my blog too. So, here we go….

Pigs:
It’s an interesting study to chronicle the men of Eddie’s past. Perhaps someone can read these descriptions in an unbiased manner and advise Eddie on the type of man she should pursue. Or, you could do like me and giggle as we stroll through Eddie’s romantic history reviewing the winners that she has dated. I’m sure that these guys have good points as well, but as the best friend, I was always privy to the negative when she called me to gripe. Over time, I put together this collection which we will call The Best of Eddie’s Lovelife: the Cliff Notes.

We begin back in high school, with a boy we knew as Punjab*. Eddie was always very into drummers. She crushed heavily on every long haired boy in the school, even bribing me on the school bus to go to certain hallways where she knew her crush to be and spy on him each morning. These boys, however, were unattainable, as they did not actually know that Eddie existed, unless they noticed a giggling blur of blonde dashing away from them each morning before homeroom. This somehow led her to Punjab. Punjab was a bass drum player in the marching band for which Eddie performed in color guard. Punjab was about 5’4” (to her 5’7”) and a year younger. Their brief courtship culminated in Eddie wrecking her car (Punjab wasn’t old enough to drive) on the way to Homecoming.

Eddie:
Hmmm…I’m trying to think of something nice to say about this one. How about…he let me wear his very cool shark tooth necklace.

Pigs:
How about: You could see directly over his head, so he never blocked your view?

Eddie:
Har har.

*All names have been changed.