Boom!

What really happened:

Driving through the neighborhood, I crested a hill and a white van was in the street, straightening their park job in their driveway. I slowed down and stopped about two driveways before them. "Whoaaaaaa....." I said. "There's a van in the road."

Piglet's version at dinner that night:

Piglet: Mommy almost hit van!

Me: No, I didn't.

Piglet: WHOOOOOOAAAA! Almost hit van! BOOM!

Me: There was no boom. I slowed to a stop and observed the van.

Piglet: BOOM! WHOA!

Daddy: Was mommy on the phone when she almost hit the van?

Piglet: Yeah.

Me: [aghast] I was not!

Daddy: Was mommy drinking beer when she almost hit the van?

Piglet: Oh, yeah! BOOM! Mommy almost hit van!

Daddy: Remember when mommy hit Aunt Carla's car last summer?

Piglet: BOOM! Yeah! Mommy hit Alice's car! BOOM!

Me: [sigh]