Me: Um....I need to file an auto claim.
Agent: Can you describe for me what happened exactly?
Me: Okay, but listen. Before you judge me, I'm about nine months pregnant.
Agent: Ma'am, that's really irrelevant unless you sustained injury.
Me: Oh. Well, just so you know something bad happens to your brain when you're pregnant. I have a very clean driving record.
Agent: Tell me what happened, please.
Me: I kind of backed into another car. With....my car.
Agent: Was anyone injured?
Me: No, there was no one in the car.
Agent: So, the car was parked? Where did this take place?
Me: Um, in my driveway.
Me: Um, in my driveway.
Agent: So, you backed into a car that was parked in your driveway. Did you know the car was there? Who did it belong to?
Me: Yes. I knew it was there. It was my friend's car. She was in the car with me.
Agent: [long silence]
Me: I really am a good driver! I just forgot it was there! Don't judge me! Can you fix it?
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