Woes

In case you're wondering where I've been in the last week or so, I'll tell you. I've been right here in my house, chasing Piglet. I have not had time to blog, read Harry Potter, empty my dishwasher, pluck the hair that I found today growing out of my cheek, cook, watch TV, or breathe properly in the last two weeks. Allow me to explain in more detail because I can sense your riveted stance as you lean in closer to your screen.

Piglet has had a rough stretch. In one week, he got a nasty cold and learned to crawl. What do these events have to do with one another, you might ask? They both involve a nap strike. A two week long, screaming, hot, sweaty, red-faced nap strike. When one is ill, they cannot breathe when lying down. This aspect is understandable to me. Turns out, when one learns to crawl, one's body cannot stop practicing, even when it is so exhausted that it falls asleep sitting up. You'd think this would be enough to wear me out, but no.

Quickly grasping the concept of crawling, Piglet was off like a shot, tearing around the house, terrorizing Gus at every turn, chasing the Roomba. Piglet no longer has use for toys. Who wants toys when there are outlets to poke! Dog bowls to taste! Cords to pull! Breast pump parts to put in your mouth! The house is a big, big new world and Piglet wants to experience it. The word "no" is in use a lot these days. Feeling the fireplace ash? NO! (Gus comes behind to eat up the crumbs.) Putting your fingers under Gus's tail? NO! Pulling the fake moss out of my fake ficus? NO! Climbing on top of the Roomba while it's vacuuming? NO!

To compound the problem, the field behind our fence is being developed and we are the lucky recipients of a retention pond. It will be pretty, with a wrought iron fence and a fountain, but right now, at least between the hours of 7am and 7pm six days a week, it's a large mud pit filled with 8-12 large yellow digging machines that alternately roar past my fence at 60mph and back slowly with their infernal BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Did I mention that Piglet is having trouble sleeping? Do I even have to wonder why?

Now that crawling has been mastered, he's over practicing that in his crib and has moved on to pulling up. Pulling up is very cute in the morning when I go to get him out of his crib and he's hanging over the rail, grinning a gap-toothed crooked grin, so proud to be standing up on his own. It's not so cute when every naptime becomes standing practice and he can't get back down short of freefalling backwards, which ticks him off, to say the least. So, here we go again. He stands, crying with his eyes closed because he's so tired, but can't lie down to sleep because his body wants to practice.

I must wrap up this post, as Piglet has risen from his fifteen minute morning nap. Did I mention that I can't get Harry Potter read? Did I mention that I've lost 3 pounds this week? DID I?? And to all a good night.