Critic's Corner

Alright, I have to make one more post regarding American Idol, and then I'll move on. First, I still have a big crush on Blake. I like Blake in the same way that I like Sting - he's not classically good looking, but he has rough features and a creative edge that just make him darned likeable. Plus, he pulls off goofy clothes and doesn't conform to American Idol cheesiness. He's the first Idol that I can say I would buy the CD.

That disclaimer aside, I can't decide who should win. Yes, I heart Blake, but if he wins then he's all trapped into the American Idol contract and all that. I think he'd be more successful on his own. I will say that the other two girls are clearly the better singers, I just think Blake's an awesome performer. So let's take a gander at the ladies. [Now there's a sentence I don't think I've ever uttered before.]

I'm slightly troubled by both girls, nothing to do with their singing, just me being mean and critical. Jordin makes me a little insane when Ryan is telling you the numbers to call and she has to make all three numbers with her fingers. This little display is silly, distracting, and immature. It shows her age, I suppose. If I was a voting viewer, I wouldn't vote for her because of that little performance. Nothing to do with her singing.

Melinda? Okay, let's just talk about it. Melinda has no neck. Maybe that's what gives her such an amazing voice, her head is all squashed down there on her vocal chords and those songs all just rumble out like she's got built in Bose speakers or something. I'm not saying it's bad to have no neck, but you simply cannot be sexy without a neck. And Melinda has been attempting some sexiness of late. Last night, for example, with the jacket over the shoulder hinting at a strip tease. Not alluring at all. In summary, great sound, no neck. Not that that's a reason for her not to win American Idol, I'm just saying that it's distracting.

And as long as I'm being mean and critical of features that people have no control over, Simon has either ridiculously small hands, or a tremendously large head. I can never figure out which it is, but it's another distraction a la American Idol. That is all.