Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Green Apple Splatters

I did it! I went back to school today and it was actually really fun. It's kind of nice to be in the building, but not have any real responsibilities except....teaching! What a crazy, wacky idea. A teacher who can teach and only teach. Who knew I had to quit teaching to get this gig?

I had a lot of little brothers or sisters of kids I've taught in the past and I got a lot of "Do you remember my brother? Do you know Robby? Do you remember me in first grade?" Kids are darn cute when they aren't driving you crazy all day. And it was a nice break to be around big kids. Kids who can talk and don't spit up on me all day.

There was only one little bugger who got on my nerves. He was obviously smart, but not so much in the manners department. And I think there was something wrong with his arm, because he seemed to be unable to raise his hand. I taught a lesson on using creative similes in their writing. I shared a little kids' book that was all babyish similes just to give them the idea of what they were, and then tried to talk about why those weren't the kind they would be writing.

Me: The similes in that book were written for younger kids, so they're a little....
Obnoxious Kid: Lame?
Me: Well....yeah. For example, instead of "quick as a fox", we could try "quick as....."
Obnoxious Kid: Green apple splatters?
Me: Inappropriate.

It was at that moment that I realized just who he was. I had taught his older brother a couple years before and he had left us to attend the Very Special Private School for ADHD kids. Fabulous. But other than that, I had a good time. Even that part wasn't so bad because I knew that I could leave him and go home and have no responsibilities to his parents, the principal, his grades.....

Ahhhhh.....what a relief. Now, I return to the Poopie Strike Part Deux that is brewing in my family room.

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